Welcome to the second part of this six-episode exploration of the boundaries-setting process. I’ll assume you’ve already listened to the previous episode about step one; if you haven’t, please go listen to that one and then come back to this episode.
Now that you’ve identified a specific situation or event that you need to set a boundary around in the previous episode, it’s time to get clear about your reality as it relates to that incident or situation. To really understand what’s going on, we’ll examine the experience from three angles. First, there’s what you experienced with your five senses—that is, what you could record with a video camera (plus smell and taste). From there, I’ll walk you through how to examine your thoughts about what you experienced. Finally, we’ll explore your emotions, and how they correlate with the thoughts you identified.
Don’t worry if any of this sounds complicated! I’ll use a specific, clear example throughout the episode to help you understand each facet of this step to empower you to work through it with your own situation.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #8:
There are three parts to step two:
What you experienced with your five senses
What you thought about what you experienced
What emotions you felt
Understanding the difference between what actually happened and your thoughts about what happened is vital. Thinking that someone did something because they don’t care about you doesn’t make that true, for example.
Your emotions are almost exclusively determined by what you think, not what happened. This may sound counterintuitive at first, but keep an open mind as you get increasingly familiar with this process.
Highlights from Episode #8:
Links and Resources:
Preorder bonuses for Personal Boundaries for Dummies
Personal Boundaries For Dummies on Amazon
Victoria Priya
Beyond Bitchy podcast
6-Step Boundaries Clarifier FREE eWorkbook
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