Finding Balance in Chaos: Who Gets to Hurt Worse?

In this week's episode of the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew dive into a common household challenge that many parents face: the chaos that greets them at the end of a long workday. Drew comes home from a demanding day at work, only to find his kids throwing toys across the patio and being a bit more rowdy than he anticipated. In these situations, Drew wishes he could ease into his evening, but is frustrated by the commotion, leading him to irritation and a tendency to shut down.

Melissa shares her side, explaining how in tune she is with her emotions and how challenging it is when she can't understand what's going on with Drew. Despite being empathetic to his long day, she also feels like, "well I’ve had a long day too.”

Julie guides them to understand that both their feelings are valid, but timing and mutual support are key. They discuss the importance of holding space for each other, even when both are hurting. It’s about finding a balance and sometimes literally just going one person at a time and working together as a team through the everyday chaos.

How do you handle these stressful moments in your relationship? Do you find it challenging to support each other when both of you are exhausted?

• Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
• Visit Julie's website The Secure Relationship for all information on upcoming workshops and access to resources.
• Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime