EP110: An Ex-Dominatrix shares her experiences of various Kinks
Alternative sexuality, kink, and BDSM are some things that people often keep in the dark. But in this episode, we'll be shedding some light on them
This week’s guest is Robin Beatch, aka Red Robin, and she identifies as a genderfluid, polyamorous switch. She was previously a stripper, professional dominatrix, and a nurse. All these past experiences integrated into her present profession. She currently teaches alternative sexuality. She supports and educates different communities through body acceptance, experimenting with sexuality, among others.
If the length of our conversation is any indication, there’s so much that we discussed and learned from each other. More often me learning from her, really. We’ve tackled everything from what got her into it, what professional dominatrixes do and different types of kinks.
Some of the specific subjects we've touched on are:
Her background raised in a Mennonite household where sex education was fear-based and how she ended up working in the sex industry (01:42; 06:58). What she does as an alternative sex educator (04:03). How stripping empowered her and being a dominatrix gave her more control over her life (07:51). The distinction between hurting versus harming, and how pleasure can be derived from pain (15:31). What is a scene and how does BDSM provides a greater level of care than traditional relationships or sex (20:50). The significance of intuition, discernment, and calibration in BDSM, and why she does not rely on safewords (23:54; 34: 25; 1:18:45). A crash course on terminologies, scenarios and roles in BDSM (26;13; 35:41; 46:54; 1:05:22). The different reasons people go for pain, and the importance of understanding the intent of each participant (31:46). Ways to check the other party's limits and pain threshold (36:20). What are muggles, how to introduce kink, and to build-up scenes based on the person’s experience (38:43; 55:41). How psychological pain and humiliation play out into the scenes (51:44). Where she draws inspiration to stay creative with domination (1:02:46). The importance of learning and understanding the BDSM power play (1:10:55). How things that went wrong and lessons learned emphasized the need to do understand BDSM power dynamics. (1:21:25). Issues on consent, miscommunication, rape, and the important concept of vetting (1:24:15). A story about a client with whom she had 4-hour long needle play with (1:34:45). Her advice for someone looking for a pro-dom session, and which channels to use to best find one (1:37:00).
It was really entertaining and enlightening talking with Robin. She’s got so much to share that more than an hour and a half seemed to still be insufficient to cover everything. Good thing she does these talks for a living, so check out her upcoming talks and conferences if you want more.
If you want to connect with Robin, you can get in touch with her at Alternative Sexuality, or through her Fetlife account.
If you have questions or any feedback for the show, I’d love to hear it – email us at info [at] theintimatelifestyle.com. Feel free to share our conversation to your social networks too!
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