Kane & Feels: Paranormal Investigators
Technology
Episode 2 of Daytrippers is out NOW
A lost Brutus Feels finds the best breakfast in Twomy St. Dunstans.
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What was written by Jack Fitzpatrick and Oliver Morris
The cast in order of Appearance:
Oliver Morris – Brutus Feels
Jack Fitzpatrick – Lucifer Kane
Pheobe Joy – Coffee Slinger
George Ofori-Addo – Riz
Greg Lass – Bossman,
Tereza Duskova – Jenny
Beth Eyre – Thornbush Princess
Mean Mark Waylett – The Yawning Man
Ali Cambell – Jeanine
Umnia El-Neil – Ishani
Dave Pickering – Goeff Grace
Written by Jack FItzpatrick and Oliver Morris
Directed by Jude Hodgeson Hann
Production and Sound Design by Jude Hodgson Hann and Oliver Morris
‘Small Vacation’ was produced by Aurist, with other music produced by Oliver Morris
Sound design was by Jude Hodgson Hann and Oliver Morris and it was a production for Skadi’s Symphony.
Content Warning:
Drug Use, including alcohol and marijuana.
Peril.
Graphic descriptions of horrifying death.
Gun Voilence
Gore
Blood
Food mention
Animal Death
Abusive Spouse
Abusive Parent
Loud Noises
Depictions of Witchcraft and Christianity
Kane and Feels is a Skadi’s Symphony Production.
TRANSCRIPT BELOW
Narrator: The following episode contains scenes that some listeners may find upsetting. A full list of content warnings can be found in the show notes.
Feels: I had found the best breakfast in town.
Narrator: Kane and Feels: Daytrippers – Episode 2 – WHAT
Coffee Slinger: Ah! You’re back.
Feels: I’m back.
Coffee Slinger: Did you bring your appetite?
Feels: I did.
Coffee Slinger: And your wallet
Feels: That too
Coffee Slinger: Good, good. You go find your table and I’ll bring you something good to eat.
FEELS: The Flying horse cafe and bistro was the best greasy spoon I had found within 4 square miles of this town. You could always rely on rubbery rashers, half a wilted tomato, solid toast, and freshly burnt filter coffee straight from the pot.
Other than the staff, the only other person in the bar was sat in the booth in front of me. Shoulders ridgid, collar rigid, exuding an air of rigidity. The fact he chose the booth in front of mine wound me up no end, as I’d chosen this booth as a valuable vantage point. From my foam stuffed pleather seat I could see the whole diner and wait for someone to come in. Any day now I knew they’d –
Coffee Slinger: So you here for much longer?
Feels: No I go back to London today.
Coffee Slinger: Aw, well have you enjoyed your stay in Twomy St. Dunstan’s?
Feels: Yup, saw some sea, ate some chips, all around good sort of general vibe.
Coffee Slinger: Well thank you hun. Hope you found what you’re looking for?
Feels: What I’m looking for?
RIZ: Nowadays the only time I feel the liberty, is when I’m streaming. After all day staring at a computer I like to get home and stare at a computer. I have an emulator for an obscure Japan only puzzle time game called Yellow Sign Block by a short-lived Hudson division: Hastursoft. It’s randomized so I play it each night trying to break my PB with different controllers. I don’t get a lot a views, but it’s not even about that. On the streaming front, I’ve had a little up-tick recently. I think some crowd funding is going into a Yellow Sign remake. Or a spiritual successor. I spent my last month’s overspill money on the new mic, one directional enough to block out the sound of the sea. I have a facecam, but it’s not right for this set up, I dunno. I bought it because it was reduced but I don’t know what stream I’d do to use it. Maybe dig out the tiger suit. Nice to have. Weird with the colour, in the feed there’s a purple pinky light coming from the window behind me, but I can’t see it, only digitally. Right, 12 people. Good enough, time to match some symbols.
RIZ: I keep having a nightmare in which the fibre optics we’ve been working on programs to help for the telecoms is stretched out in front of me. It’s not a series of lines and channels, it’s not a railway, it’s a web. Asymmetrical and covered in dew like a real web drawn between two posts in a misty morning. Spreading out as far as I can see. And the scary thing is –
>AlarmAlarm
Feels: I don’t know why I did that.
Coffee slinger: Perhaps you’ll die.
Kane: Well maybe if I take this herring bone and attach it to this stick and wave it around my
head and find the things but something needs to change. Is it just structure for the sake of structure? Is there any point to any of these things? Did we just get lucky? Is there some schism? Can you ascribe love to a creature with no such concept. Can you truly love a cat? Or a dog? Or a scorpion? Will it not sink you as you go out to the light? The light the light. Something needs to break the cycle, something, a confrontation maybe? A dirge? Is it a dirge? DIIIIRIIRRRRRRRRRRRGEEE
SCENE 13
JENEANE: Soups
Mock Turtle Soup
1 calf’s head,
Juice of ½ lemon
carrot
turnip
2 onions
1 stick celery
2 quarts water
1 oz cornflour
2 tablespoonfuls sherry, salt and Cayenne pepper.
Wash and Blanch the head by covering it with cold water and bringing it up to the boil, chop it in pieces and put into pan with the bouquet garni, ham- diced small, and water. Bring slowly to the boil, skim, and simmer gently for at least 2 hours.
I take the time to forge Timothy’s signature on the mortgage today. He says we can’t afford it. He has no faith in me. In my cooking. I had to beg him to invite the regional manager around for supper. And I have never begged for anything. If he was smarter, he’d know that I was a sure bet. *tinkling laugh* His brain is good for nothing.
Ding!
Then take out the head and simmer the peeled and cut up vegetables in the stock for 2 hours.
The parasite I call my ‘daughter Samantha’ comes home. Again. Like she can’t take the hint. She skulks up to her room to play records. She says I’m too “controlling” – I say she’s never strived for anything. Like our choice to foster was a ‘happy ending’, not a ‘new beginning’ — But what do you expect when you take in strays? After all I’ve invested in her.
DING!
Strain, leave till cold to remove all fat from top. Finally, reheat the stock, thicken it with the corn-flour made into a paste with a little water. Add sherry, lemon juice, salt and cayenne and serve garnished with little cubes of meat from the head.
Delicious.
After Dinner, I tell them about the mortgage, I explain the stakes, and I tell them what I really think of them. Samantha leaves the room in tears, Timothy locks themselves in their study. They didn’t say a word about the soup.
Feels: I found the best curry in town
Ishani: Hello and welcome to the Balti King, home of the best baltis in Twomy St. Dunstan’s, come for the large availability and stay…
Feels: Is there.. is there mor–
Ishani: What do you want?
Feels: What do you have?
Ishani: (a empassioned sigh) There’s the big balti, the big bad balti, the full monty balti, the bullseye balti, the seaman’s balti, the bull dog balti, Birth of the Balti, Bring back the balti, Locked and Balti.
Feels: What’s in the full mont–
Ishani: Tuna and Pineapple
Feels: Tuna and–
Ishani: Did I stutter?
Profound Regrexit: If the United Kingdom Leaves the European Union in an orderly fashion with a deal. and that the deal we’ve negotiated is the best and indeed the only deal available.
Feels: Is there nothing I can do?
Jenny: Unless you can fix BREXIT
Feels: I could give you a ride to the airport.
Jenny: You really are the worst named man in the world, Brutus.
Feels: I’m Sorry
Jenny: Don’t be sorry. Just keep in touch, okay?
Feels: Okay
Jenny: And fix your government
Feels: Okay
Jenny: And let me know if you find out more about…
Feels: Grace.
Feels: I found the best breakfast in town.
Coffee Slinger: Back?
Feels: Grace.
Coffee Slinger: Hungry?
Feels: Grace.
Coffee Slinger: Sit.
FEELS: The sugar packets contain salt, the décor is hideous. Everything here is welcoming, satisfying, placating. And I can feel it melt my will. It’d be so easy to just give in and-
Grace: Um, excuse me.
FEELS: I looked up, and saw the rigid man stand over my table. As if hewn from legalese and jargon. Immovable, impenetrable, and looking right at me.
Feels: Can I help you sir?
Grace: The sugar.
Feels: Uhhhhh
Grace: The Sugar
Feels: Ummmmmmmmmm
Grace: The Sugar.
Feels: AAAAHHHHH.
(yelled over each other)
Grace: The SUGAR- PASS THE SUGAR. PLEASE. GOD PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU PASS ME THE SUGAR! IT’S SO BITTER, IT’S ALL SO BITTER. MUDDIED AND BLACK AND SCOLDING HOT. BURNT AND ROTTEN AND GROWN IN DARK HOLES WITHOUT LIGHT! THERE IS NO LIGHT! THE SUGAR. DEATH IS SACCHARINE, DEATH IS DIRT. DEATH IS THAT FUNNY FRUCTOSE AFTERTASTE! I NEED SWEETNESS! I NEED CRYSTALS! GIVE IT TO ME, BRUTUS, GIVE. ME, THE.
Feels: WHO ARE YOU? WHY DO I KNOW YOU? HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN HERE! YOU CAN’T TALK TO ME! I SWALLOWED A FLY! TALK TO ME! TALK TO ME! TALK TO ME!I WANT TO LISTEN! I WANT TO KNOW WHY! I CAN’T I’M NOT READY! BUT I WANT TO BE! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR? WHY AM I HERE? TALK TO ME! PLEASE I SWALLOWED A FLY? WHAT’S GOING ON? WHY AM I HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WHAT IS YOUR NAME?? WHY AM I HERE? TALK TO ME!! I SWALLOWED A FLY GOD DAMN IT! WHY AM I HERE? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? WHAT IS THIS TOWN? WHAT’S A TWOMY FOR GOD’S SAKE?
Grace: SUGAR.
(Feels passes the sugar)
Grace: Thank you. ……… Thank you. (Weeping) Thank you thank you thank you! THANK YOU! THANK! YOU!
Feels; It’s nothing. … It’s nothing. It’s nothing. It’s nothing its nothing it’s nothing. It’s nothing. It’s nothing
Grace: Thank you
Feels: It’s nothing.
Coffee Slinger: So you here for much longer?
Feels: No I go back to London today.
Grace: A few more days. There are still things I have to do
Coffee Slinger: Have you enjoyed your stay in Twomy St. Dunstan’s?
Feels: I have hated every—- moment of it.
Grace:—I have hated every moment of it
Coffee: Well thank you hun, I Hope you found what you’re looking for.
Feels: What I’m-
Feels: The Rigid man collapsed. Jerked forward into his coffee spilling it. His blood, and his coffee, mingled and slopped onto the pristine white floor, staining it a crimson brown. I looked up at the coffee slinger but they weren’t there. Standing behind the counter, stood a figure, dark, silver, green and glowing. And I recognised him.
Feels: Kane.
Kane: Feels.
Feels: What THE FU-
CREDITS
Stinger:
Feels: I found the best breakfast in town…
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