Episode 3: This episode explores the insidious narcissistic grooming of their children to satisfy their own selfish needs and desires. The narcissist grooms their children to fulfil their own aspirations, at the expense of the Childs personal growth, safety, and development. We explore the Golden Child & Scape Goat family dynamics, while examining other controlling techniques employed by the narcissist in order to maintain their exclusive control over the entire family system.
Pleasure & pain, safety & abuse, seem to be offered by the same person, who the child perceives as someone who has their best interest at heart, the child has to believe this as the thought of the parent not caring is to devastating a proposition to even think of. sadly the children are extremely loyal and bonded to the pattern of abuse and acceptance.
If narcissistic abuse was your early childhood experience, then as adults one can easily fall victim to this toxic paradigm, when the same partner is the source of love and abuse in equal measure, we seek what is familiar even if it's bad for us, until we realise it doesn't have to be this way. Perhaps even more devastating then experiencing repeated toxic relationships, is the knowledge that your authenticity was taken from you before you were even consciously aware you had been the victim of narcissistic abuse.
The devastating impact of the narcissistic parenting, is so routine that children often loose the ability to imagine a future and a life beyond the immediate and perpetual state of crisis at home. The childs world becomes one of complete servitude, chronically adrenalised, their world is perpetually unstable and life threatening they become chronically hyper-vigilant, loosing all sense of playfulness. Life becomes burdensome & highly unpredictable and something to escape from, as opposed to embracing it with healthy optimism, desire and seeing the abundant possibilities.
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