342 Transform Loss Into Legacy With Mindfulness; Sandra Millers Younger

Sandra Millers Younger helps people build personal resilience as a result of a tragedy she experienced. In 2003, she lost her home and nearly her life in a catastrophic California wildfire. Her book about the disaster, “The Fire Outside My Window,” is praised by Amazon reviewers and studied by top-level emergency professionals. After the fire, Sandra discovered personal resilience is both a natural strength and a skill set we can build like a muscle. Combining her own experience with leading academic research, she developed The ComeBACK Formula™—five common-sense practices that transform disaster into opportunity and loss into legacy. Sandra now shares her resilience-boosting message as an international speaker and frequent media guest.

Contact Info

• Website: www.SandraYounger.com
• For A Free Gift: www.ComeBackFormula.com  Get the Comeback Formula Guidebook which includes all of the five steps of the ComeBACK Formula with some exercises you can use right now and moving forward to implement these resilience building practices into your life.

Most Influential Person

• Richard Rohr, Author

Effect on Emotions

• I will say very briefly that for much of my life because of childhood influences, I was plagued by anxiety and even depression and mindfulness has enabled me to realize that most of that came from distorted thinking. That was not anything relevant to the moment that in the moment I was just fine and all of that other talk, self talk was really not even true. I didn't have to pay attention to that and that really has, has helped me be much more content and I'm secure, emotionally.

Thoughts on Breathing

• Breathing is so easy and in fact, when I give keynotes and workshops on the ComeBACK formula, this is one of the practices that I recommend because it's easy and it's nonthreatening.
• There are all kinds of different ways as you know, that are projected to do this and recommended, but if you just focus very simply on taking a deep breath in and holding it for just a second and then letting it out, it does calm us down.
• It's a physiological as well as mental and emotional intervention and it's totally self guided and possible. So breathing slowly and consciously and mindfully is a great, great practice.

Suggested Resources

• Book: Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer by Richard Rohr
• App: Focus@Will also Headspace

Bullying Story

• I have been very fortunate in my life not to have been the subject of bullying to a great extent.
• I already mentioned that there was that manager who was probably the closest that I came to bullying. She was out of control.
• The more I think about this in this mindful moment, the more I think that really was bullying. She was bullying the entire team, our entire office and eventually to the degree that she got bounced out of her position. But not before she did a lot of damage.
• And that was before the fire. It was before I was able to learn these deeper lessons and I didn't really handle it well.
• There was a time that I remember I was kind of toe to toe yelling. I mean, we were yelling back and forth. It was that bad.
• Well, how can I not say I've never been bullied when I'd forgotten about this? Okay. So you brought it back and if I had been more mindful, certainly in she had been more mindful that never would've happened.
• You know, I think mindfulness also leads us to compassion because if we're mindful of not just what's going on in the here and now with us, but with others around us, we can see the situation more from their perspective even if we don't agree with that perspective. And certainly there was not a lot of that.
• So had I been more mindful in those days, I probably would have let a lot more of that slide. I would not have been so personally offended and, and defending myself, which really didn't do any good.

Free Gift

Become more calm, focused and happy by reading the top 12 books recommended on the Mindfulness Mode Podcast. This mini 14-page ebook entitled '12 Must-Read Mindfulness Books' outlines each of the top books recommended by guests on the show. Get your digital copy now at  MindfulnessMode.com/top12books