🩲 “Never going commando again” — Kim’s Skims urgent underwear. The Great Job Experiment. CNN+’s forever discount.
🦣 “$75M to build Jurassic Park” — Colossal’s wooly mammoth startup. Lululemon’s Mt. Everest shoe. Amazon’s 20-to-1 buzz.
🥨 “The Calorie Curtain” — Fast Food quits Russia. VW’s electric Hippie Van. Crypto-Curious for Digital-Dollar.
🤠 “1-click to buy Tim McGraw’s boots” — Amazon’s country music. Apple’s Junior Membership. Nickel’s nightmare.
🦇 “Your Self-Flying Taxi is arriving” — Volocopter’s $2B flying cab. Bed Bath & Beyond’s Chewy.com. Your $150 gas fillup.
💆♀️ “2-night stay at our store (Butler included)” — Christian Dior’s fancified flagship. Disney+’s new-boss-old-boss. Boomflation’s triple crown.
🛥️ “Operation: KleptoCapture” — Billionaire Boris’ yacht. Rivian’s prices crisis. MyPlace’s friendly house.
❤️ “Bitcoin’s Empathy Moment” — Ukraine’s crypto-raise. AMC’s Batman pricing. Whole Foods’ slowest move.
❌ “Canceled by Corporate” — Russia’s economic cancellation. Nike’s playing Foot Locker. Target’s happy twist.
💨 “Gone in 60 rubles” — Russia’s piggy bank. TikTok’s TikTooooooooook. Jersey Shore’s $4B wind.
🍣 “Really real fake real slammin’ salmon” — IMAX’s un-theatering. WildType’s $100M sushi. Cybersecurity’s moment.
🇺🇦 “Everything war touches” — Ukraine’s market waves. Netflix’s choose-your-adventure. Allbirds’ new flock.
⛏️✨ “I AM saying she’s a golddigger” — Kanye’s new iPod. Google’s Kraft-O-Matic. How Sanctions mess with Americans.
♟️ “The 1st casualty in war is Truth” — Russia’s social battle. Spotify’s new car thing. SoFi’s road to el dorado.
👑 “$1,000 if you become our customer” — DraftKings’ promo passion. Papier’s screen revenge. Virgin Galactic’s SPACe.
🏁 “Used Minivan = George Clooney” — AutoNation’s opposite day. Google’s slowly dying. Revenge of the Malls.
🍞 “The Avo-pocalypse” — Facebook’s Mean Girl MetaMates. Avocado’s drug cartel. Roblox’s kid game.
🌴 “You can never leave” — Squarespace’s Hotel California. Intel’s freedom chip. Mystery’s corporate happy-hour.
🏈 “Scan here to win” — Coinbase’s QR ROI. CoComelon’s kid cash flow. Congress’ stock ban-apalooza.
🍟 “$4M French Fries” — The Container Store’s puberty. FriesDAO’s restaurant craving. Electric Charging’s beauty pageant.
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