Hear why citizens across the globe are displeased with a local nonprofit’s plan to build a new homeless shelter in such close proximity to the planet’s many schools, homes, and parks.
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New Disarmament Treaty Calls For World Powers To All Fire Their Nuclear Stockpiles At Fiji
Huge Quantities Of Primo Shit Incinerated By Feds
Study Finds More Americans Waiting To Start Secret Second Families Until Later In Life
Sephora Awarded NASA Contract To Give Moon Fresh, Fun Makeover
Heavenly Authorities Arrest God For Leaving Children In Overheating Planet
Robots Inform Artificial Intelligence Researchers That They’ll Take It From Here
BREAKING: Total Hunk On Roof Deck Outside Our Window
Zoologists Thrilled After Successfully Getting Pair Of Bengal Tigers To 69 In Captivity
Study Confirms It Very Easy To Be Good Parent
Study: Job Applicants With 4-Year College Degree Just As Successful As Those Who Lie About Having 4-Year College Degree
Return To School ‘Whatever,’ Report Nation’s Angsty Teens
Meteorologists Warn Hurricane Laura Intensifying Into Full-Scale Reckoning For Our Eternal Sins
Cinephile Refugees Arrive On Rafts In Canada For ‘Tenet’ Premiere
Los Angeles Deploys Buzzkill Task Force To Break Up Parties
ExxonMobil To Simplify Oil Extraction By Cutting Earth In Half
Bee, Man Allergic To Bees Found Dead In Apparent Murder-Suicide
New Identification App Lets Hikers Categorize All Corpses They Encounter On Nature Trail
Tulsi Gabbard Named Democratic Nominee After Discovery Of Obscure Rule That Grants Nomination To Whoever Wins 0.7% Of The Vote In Missouri
Study Finds Gap Widening Between Rich Pets And Poor Americans
Proposed Legislation Offers Citizenship To Immigrants Who Can Play Piano So Good It Makes Everyone Cry
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