I should be clear... I don't struggle with this. The stories I share about my pride in this episode are a complete rarity. Almost never happens.
I also don't struggle with lying... :D
(Just kidding :)
I need this learning as much as anyone... which is why I'm excited to share what God is teaching me!
----
"My spouse needs to change..."
"[He is / She is] doing so many bad things...so many..."
"There's nothing I can do unless [he / she] changes..."
I knew this was a disempowering mindset that I saw often.
But it wasn't until this week when God confronted me with my pride, that I learned that "self-pity" is the sin of pride.
Ouch.
But true.
(I learned this through the book by R. T. Kendall's The Power of Humility. I highly recommend it.)
Wallowing in your pain isn't God's way.
"But I don't deserve to be treated like this!"
I hear you.
Job didn't deserve his suffering either.
His suffering was profound.
Maybe yours is too.
Job started out strong. Even when others encouraged him to deny God's goodness, he stayed faithful to God and honored His faithfulness regardless.
But eventually, he succumbed to self-pity, he was severely corrected for his wallowing in self-pity.
I hope you and I will heed what God said to Job. And that we would respond the way Job did to His correction.
I encourage you to lean into His discipline.
He is a good Father who disciplines His children.
God is kind to bring us to repentance.
And don't worry... I needed this episode too. Let's draw near to God. Lay down our pride and acknowledge and seek Him as Lord and King.
Love,
Belah
PS - We'd love to help you with your marriage, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call.
PPS - If you're wondering how healthy your marriage is right now to give you insights on what needs to change and the first steps in how to with free resources... go to delightyourmarriage.com/health to take the Marital Health Assessment.
From another recent graduate:
Before the men's program:
"Struggles - Arguing, lack of trust, loss of peace frequently, little laughter, lack of joy, lack of fun. I was worried that if I didn't change, my wife might leave me after the kids leave for college.
192-Abuse, Part 3: Unique but Equal
191-Abuse Part2: Boundaries
190- Abuse, Part I: Blinders
189-When you’re attracted to someone else
188-Christian Sex Scandals
Summer break
187-Get Turned on by Him
186-Surrendering 2.0. Interview with Laura Doyle, Part 2
185-Surrendering 2.0. Interview with Laura Doyle, Part 1
184-How to Apologize
183-Divorce IS an Option
182-What Makes Intimacy Exciting
181-Connection Goals
180-Sex is Better In Marriage
179-The Missional Marriagebed
178-Stoke His Desire
177-Body P6: Be Released
176-Body P5: Value Touch
175-Body P4: Honor Your Ressa
174-Body P3: Flaunt, Don't Seek Approval
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