Police conduct mock shooting for students who now need therapy. Elephants know each others' names cuz they smart.
Crocodile ate their dogs, so they ate him. Hire a driver that can also shoot your enemies.
Floridaman sneezes and his colon falls out at the diner. Man thinks all of Florida is a nude beach.
Man broke into home to perform exorcism on former co-worker. Hospital puts "famous" singer in a straight-jacket.
Denmark recalls Korean ramen for being too spicy. German town votes to have all pigeons killed.
Jesus had an erection when he dies, says priest. Flying venomous spiders heading to the Northeast.
Books about farts and butts are back in Texas libraries. Lady suffers from Sleep Shopping disorder.
Florida woman called police on herself during a carjacking. Floridaman caught pushing stolen Coke machine down street.
Porn takes over Amazon tribe after they finally get internet. Scientists wanna know what time it is on the moon.
Straight men get free beer at bar's Heterosexual Awareness event. Flavor Flav orders entire Red Lobster menu in effort to save company.
You will soon be able to grow new teeth. Your orange juice is about to have zero oranges.
Town bans sex dolls and genital costumes for parties. Teacher holds mock slave auction in class.
Shirtless Floridaman robbing Wendy's with finger guns blazin. Florida couple makes 4pm love on the pier.
Cash for vasectomy reversals to help declining birth rates. Violent street performer disputes in Mexico.
Poop balloons sent from North Korea to annoy neighbor. Ramen lovers eat their noodles as restaurant goes up in flames around them.
Mexican cartels take over the tortillas. Family gets brain worms from uncooked bear meat.
Florida Priest bites woman at Mass. Floridaman offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral pleasures.
Dogs now have their own luxury airline. Queer animal documentary featuring bisexual lions.
Crime to wear a mask in public? Ten Commandments in the classroom? Bears don't mind Black Sabbath.
Every human testicle contains microplastics, study shows. Swiss court bans the Bimbo for being racist.
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