Spain Holds First Annual ‘Running Of The Virus’ Festival
Arctic’s Rapid Thawing Not Helped By Todd, A Guy Up There Rubbing His Warm Body All Over The Ice
Study: Majority Of Americans Not Prepared For When Sun Engulfs Earth In 7.5 Billion Years
IRS Announces Taxpayers Can Make Checks Directly Payable To Any Corporation Or Billionaire They Want This Year
New York Adds ‘No Deaf Child In Area’ Signs So Drivers Know When They Can Be As Reckless As Possible
Prison Guards Gun Down Inmate Trying To Escape Jail Through Transportive Power Of Reading
New Crest Sweepstakes Offers Chance To Win 10 Million Teeth
FBI Warns Teenage Cyberbullying Driving Hundreds Of Undercover Agents To Suicide
City Terrorized But Unimpressed By Serial Killer Who Just Shoots Victims
Lime Unveils Pilot Program For Inexplicable New E-Cubes
Victoria’s Secret Shutters Operations After Concluding Women Were Never Hot Enough To Wear Their Underwear In First Place
Mental Health Experts Warn Veterans’ PTSD Can Be Triggered By Sound Of Neighbors Shooting Off Fourth Of July RPGs
Tide Accused Of Over-Inflating Number Of Children Who Roll Around In Mud Puddles Before Running Into House
IBM Condemns Use Of Facial Recognition Software For Anything Other Than Matching People With Their Celebrity Doppelganger
Red Cross Announces It’s Fine Not To Perform Life-Saving Mouth-To- Mouth On Someone Who’s Not Your Type
Congress Announces Willingness To Give Black Lives Matters Protestors Statue Or Holiday
Mental Health Experts Advise On Best Ways To Combat Intrusive Thoughts Of Your Father Naked
Jimmy Carter Checks Into Rehab For Debilitating House-Building Addiction
Congress Moving Toward Safer Vote-By-Paper-Airplane Option
NRA Receives Massive Funding Increase From Donors Held At Gunpoint
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