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New Paternity Leave Policy Would Allow Fathers To Take Off Work If They Need To Appear On ‘Maury’
2020-10-12
Report: Kangaroo At Petting Zoo Can’t Be Good
2020-10-09
DNC Concerned Warm, Cozy Beds On Brisk November Morning Could Keep Voters From Going To Polls On Election Day
2020-10-08
Piece Of Shit From Nearby Town Marries Bitch From High School
2020-10-07
NASA Discovers Evidence That Life Could Exist Outside America
2020-10-06
Small Town Ravished By Alejandro
2020-10-05
Study: Pitbull Owners 10 Times More Likely To Bite Pedestrians Than Owners Of Other Dog Breeds
2020-10-02
Local Residents Express Concern Over Homeless Shelter Being Built On Their Planet
2020-10-01
Congress Aids Those Struggling With Depression By Implementing New National Suicide-Prevention Conga Line
2020-09-30
White House Vows To Have Something To Stick Into Your Arm By October
2020-09-29
Disney World On Lockdown After Mickey Escapes Enclosure, Rampages Through Park
2020-09-28
Ornithologists Attribute Owls’ Nocturnal Lifestyle To Hard Cocaine Habit
2020-09-25
Real Estate Experts Confirm Having George Clooney Living In Attic Greatly Increases Property Value
2020-09-24
Napkin Industry Under Fire For History Of Holding Greasy Slobs To Impossible Beauty Standards
2020-09-23
National Weather Service Warns Recent Snow-Cainado May Be Tied To Professor Barnabas T. Vile’s Weather Destabilizing Machine
2020-09-22
Student Loan Debt Making It More Difficult For Millennials To Subscribe To The Topical’s Patreon Despite Incredibly Low-Priced Membership Tiers
2020-09-21
Girl Scout Troop Raises Over $100,000 To Buy Corvette Because Fuck It, It’s Their Money, They Can Do What They Want
2020-09-18
Diary Entries Reveal Benjamin Franklin’s Kite Experiment Was Early Attempt At Erotic Electrostimulation
2020-09-17
Nation Calls For Return Of Theme Songs That Explain Show’s Whole Deal
2020-09-16
NRA Issues ‘F’ Rating To Bugs Bunny For Tying Up Guns Into Pretzel Shape
2020-09-15
