If you've ever seen a headline (one of mine or someone else's), "They did [this] and got [this]" you may have experienced a "transactional trigger".
My motivation is to attract people who need transformation in their marriages.
What I call "missional marketing", some may call "bait and switch", which is kind of true, too.
You may be someone who came for a certain outcome, but you listened and found out that to get that [thing], you have to change who you are - including your motivations.
For many, it works (by God's grace).
But, initially, it may have triggered transactional thinking for you.
This can lead you to believe that you’re guaranteed a certain result if you do [X] for your spouse.
Here's what I hope for you.
I hope that you'll start your journey with an expectation of an incredible marriage and sex life and end your journey with a completely different set of motivations: to love your spouse the way Jesus loves them. Unconditionally.
Whether they do X or not, you get to love them the way Jesus does.
The cool thing is...
Humans are designed to respond very differently to unconditional love.
Humans heal.
Humans let down their guard.
Humans start to act differently when they know the rug won't be pulled out from under them at any moment.
The desperation ends.
Peace and freedom begin.
And marriage can become pretty amazing.
BUT your motivation should be to love your spouse unconditionally and enjoy--every moment--every smile--every laugh--every miscommunication--every peculiar habit--enjoy life alongside this wonderful God-designed being you get to love.
Blessings,
Belah
PS - Loads of free downloads here: delightyourmarriage.com/free
Delight Your Marriage has been awarded in the Top 30 Relationship Podcasts for 2018, 2019, 2020 & 2021!
"Through working with Belah, my marriage is saved and thriving, and I am forever changed and grateful."
We work through recommendations---if you've been impacted by our work, please consider helping another couple by sending them to delightyourmarriage.com
248-Why Playfulness Matters to Your Sex
247-Wild Romance At Home (but there's a catch)
246-We're All Insecure in Intimacy
245-Peace & Presence for Intimacy
244-Sexual Health & Immune System with Joel K. Kahn, MD
243-Your Secret Weapon (& how we beat COVID)
242-Can Your Marriage Become a Soft Landing During Quarantine?
241-Use This Crisis Wisely
A prayer for you
240-Motivated to Intimacy
239-For the High Drive Husband
238-Song of Songs about Intimacy. Interview with Sharon Jaynes
237-Heal From Sexual Trauma, Interview with Catherine Wilson, Part 2
236-Heal From Sexual Trauma, Interview with Catherine Wilson, Part 1
235-Is Fantasy Bad?
A prayer for you
234-Oral Sex: Why He Cares (SO Much) & Why She's Not Comfortable
233-CONFLICT is... good? Interview with Larry Shushansky
“Honey, for my Christmas present, would you...?”
232-Reflect On This One, For Your Next Best Year
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