Les, Kurt, and Jason lament the essential cancellation of Halloween as we know it, walk of shame and all. (Poor slutty David S. Pumpkin costumes will have to wait until next year). They also offer huge congrats to our friend David Rosen of the Piecing it Together Podcast on his marriage… even if it takes the guys a second to piece together what the name of his podcast is. The Blac Chyna news leads everyone down a rabbit hole about whether it’s easier to transition to porn to so-called legit acting work or vice versa… and whether or not character actors can do it (picture Ed Asner naked, you are welcome). Then, it’s time to embrace the season of FALLmark and Falling for Look Lodge, a Hallmark movie bursting at the seams with the most white people stereotype ever: being really into autumn! Even with boring trivia games, an understaffed and underpopulated lodge, a super weird energy cake tasting, a sinister sister that would totally be a murderous stalker in any other movie, and a dude that’s into a turtle more than a woman (which is obvious to everyone but the woman), the biggest takeaway is that every Hallmark movie is basically Baby Boom. And that Linda Evans used to be married to Yanni.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Notorious Cheers Spinoff (That Isn’t Frasier) The Tortellis Features a Cameo from Barbie co-star Rhea Perlman
Dr. Seuss’ Halloween is Grinch Night is nothing but Class and Cocaine and Smelly Wind
What a Country America is When Famous Russian Yakov Smirnoff Becomes Ronald Reagan’s Speechwriter and Martina Navratilova is on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
The Holograms of Pia Zadora, Jermaine Jackson, Journey, and Slade Walk Ride a Vespa into a Podcast…
Was Beyonce Inspired to Make Lemonade Because Don Johnson Made Heartbeat?
Laverne and Shirley in the Army Marches Toward So Many Pig Puns
Will Smith Did Not Have the Heart and Soul to Star in a Sitcom with Morris Day, James Avery, and Tisha Campbell
Ann Jillian, Fiona Apple’s Dad, and Jennifer Slept Here Instead of a Lifetime or Hallmark Movie This Week
Grab Your Merkin to Take Me Back for Christmas to Explore the Maplewood Real Estate Market
My Professor’s Guide to Murder: Haylie Duff and Lifetime Want You to Get the Buckets
In Big Sky River, Everybody Wants to Keep the Cocks but not the Racoons
Her Affair to Die For is Actually His When the Child Is the Same Age as the Parent
Rooming with Danger, a Baby Monitor, and some WGA Picketers at the Oakwood Apartments
A Pinch of Portugal, a Dollop of Trash Can Ice Cream, and Tickle of Oran “Juice” Jones
A (Maybe) Non-Union David Paymer (lookalike) Can’t Be Drunk, Driving, and 17 But Can Be Part of a Super Heavy-Handed Message
Deep Throat finds Love in the Maldives in a Cult Founded by the Dalai Lama’s Tongue and Ray Parker Jr.
Stalked by My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge is to Eat a Bowlful of oatmeal, a fistful of cabbage, and a Cadbury Egg with Eric Roberts
Unthinkably Good Things Can Happen When Rock Hudson Hooks up with Gomer Pyle at a Blockbuster Video
The Wedding Veil Journey Into How Questioning Whether Someone Is Actually British Can Backfire Spectacularly
The Wedding Veil Inspiration for Regional Food Shaming is a Human Centipede of Friendship
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