Golden Globes 2012: Jim Predicts Awards Nobody Really Cares About... Including Him.

Golden Globes Un-researched Response and Predictions First off... Buy your Christmas shit here: Amazon.com Widgets Awards shows are kind of stupid. They are little more than a chance for very rich people to pat other very rich people on the back. They are garish, insider affairs that are essentially the same as your offices awards at the end of the year, except a whole lot of people whose lives are not impacted in the slightest by the outcome really, really care who win. As this is a movie site, and we are in the business of talking movies, I will give my two cents worth. However, it should be noted that adjusted for inflation, my two cents are worth about .75 cents. So take it for what it’s worth. The red headed stepchild is back, and for some reason people care. As I am in the custom of giving the people what they want, here are my completely off the cuff predictions of who will win an award that doesn’t really mean that much. MOVIES

• Picture, Drama: "Argo," "Lincoln," "Life of Pi," "Django Unchained," "Zero Dark Thirty."

I totally agree with splitting this category. Drama gets so much more respect than comedy and I think it’s important to recognize comedy, so good on them. That being said... I think Argo should win, but most likely it will go to Zero Dark Thirty or Lincoln. I haven’t seen either of them, but I have seen and love Argo and think it’s a stretch that either of these is qualitatively better. But I think they will go for one of these based on director.

• Picture, Musical or Comedy: "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel," "Les Miserables," "Moonrise Kingdom," "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen," "Silver Linings Playbook."

I don’t get combining musical and comedy. Just include the musical in whatever category it belongs in. From what I hear, Les Miserables is HILARIOUS, so it only makes sense to put it in a category paired with comedy. Haven’t seen any of these, but it will go to Les Mis.

• Actor, Drama: Daniel Day-Lewis, "Lincoln"; Richard Gere, "Arbitrage"; John Hawkes, "The Sessions"; Joaquin Phoenix, "The Master"; Denzel Washington, "Flight."

I would love nothing more than to see John Hawkes win this. That would truly make my day. However, one does not go up against Daniel Day-Lewis in this type of matchup and win. It just doesn’t happen. I might be wrong, but I think this is double D’s year again.

• Actress, Drama: Jessica Chastain, "Zero Dark Thirty"; Marion Cotillard, "Rust and Bone"; Helen Mirren, "Hitchcock"; Naomi Watts, "The Impossible"; Rachel Weisz, "The Deep Blue Sea."

I have not seen any of these and know nothing at all about it. Any prediction would be a blind guess. That being said... Helen Mirren?

• Director: Ben Affleck, "Argo"; Kathryn Bigelow, "Zero Dark Thirty"; Ang Lee, "Life of Pi"; Steven Spielberg, "Lincoln"; Quentin Tarantino, "Django Unchained."

Ummmm.... Les Miserables redefines the movie musical... but the director gets ignored. Of course. Have only seen Argo and thing that deserves it, hands down.

• Actor, Musical or Comedy: Hugh Jackman, "Les Miserables"; Jack Black, "Bernie"; Bradley Cooper, "Silver Linings Playbook"; Bill Murray, "Hyde Park on Hudson"; Ewan McGregor, "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen."

Again, haven’t seen anything here, but it’s Jackman in a musical. That’s his wheelhouse, so I predict he takes it.

• Actress, Musical or Comedy: Emily Blunt, "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen"; Judi Dench, "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel"; Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Linings Playbook"; Maggie Smith, "Quartet"; Meryl Streep, "Hope Springs."

I have not seen any of these and find most of the titles off putting. But I really think it’s time that a really hot lady won one of these things. So I am pulling for Blunt, Lawrence, or Dench.

• Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin, "Argo"; Leonard DiCaprio, "Django Unchained"; Philip Seymour Hoffman, "The Master"; Tommy Lee Jones, "Lincoln"; Christoph Waltz, "Django Unchained."

I could honestly see this going to any of them. But I love Waltz, so I want him to win.

• Supporting Actress: Amy Adams, "The Master"; Sally Field, "Lincoln"; Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables"; Helen Hunt, "The Sessions"; Nicole Kidman, "The Paperboy."

From what I’ve seen this is Hathaway’s year. The bits of her from Les Miserable that I’ve seen have been amazing. I mean, the woman outright claims the song, “I Dreamed a Dream,’ which is no small feat. So, I am pulling for her.

• Foreign Language: "Amour," "A Royal Affair," "The Intouchables," "Kon-Tiki," "Rust and Bone."

No idea, but I’d like “Rust and Bone” to win, because it has the word “Bone” in the title and I am apparently 12.

• Animated Film: "Brave," "Frankenweenie," "Hotel Transylvania," "Rise of the Guardians," "Wreck-It Ralph."

I loved “Brave,” but a lot of people had issue with it, which I understand. It deviates from form and goes in a really different direction that may not be your cup of tea. I would love to see it win, but “Wreck-It Ralph” has gotten so much play that I think it qualifies as a front runner. -Screenplay: Mark Boal, "Zero Dark Thirty"; Tony Kushner, "Lincoln"; David O. Russell, "Silver Livings Playbook"; Quentin Tarantino, "Django Unchained"; Chris Terrio, "Argo." Argo is an amazing script that balances human drama, political intrigue, and re-donkulous amounts of suspense with absolute mastery. I don’t even see a competition here, but who knows. Could go anywhere, but my money is on Argo.

• Original Score: Mychael Danna, "Life of Pi"; Alexandre Desplat, "Argo"; Dario Marianelli, "Anna Karenina"; Tom Tykwer, Johnny Klimek and Reinhold Heil, "Cloud Atlas"; John Williams, "Lincoln."

I don’t know... John Williams?

• Original Song: "For You " (music and lyrics by Keith Urban), "Act of Valor"; "Not Running Anymore" (music and lyrics by Jon Bon Jovi), "Stand Up Guys"; "Safe & Sound" (music and lyrics by Taylor Swift, John Paul White, Joy Williams and T Bone Burnett), "The Hunger Games"; "Skyfall" (music and lyrics by Adel and Paul Epworth), "Skyfall"; "Suddenly" (music by Claude-Michel Schonberg and lyrics by Schonberg and Alain Boublil), "Les Miserables."

I want Jon Bon Jovi to win, and don’t really care other than that. But I think the new song from Les Miserables will win. TELEVISION

• Series, Drama: "Boardwalk Empire," "Breaking Bad," "Downton Abbey," "Homeland," "The Newsroom."

In my mind there are two dramas on TV right now. Breaking Bad, and shows that AREN’T Breaking Bad. I liked Homeland season 1, but season 2 is garbage, so that screws it up for me. If this doesn’t go to Breaking Bad, then this farce of an awards show will be a farce... But Homeland will probably win, because it is a very good show and ever so topical.

• Actor, Drama: Steve Buscemi, "Boardwalk Empire"; Bryan Cranston, "Breaking Bad"; Jeff Daniels, "The Newsroom"; Jon Hamm, "Mad Men"; Damian Lewis, "Homeland."

Again, there are two lead performers in TV dramas. Bryan Cranston, and not Bryan Cranston. Again, I call shenanigans on any award he doesn’t win. But Damian Lewis will win because he is very good, and also... see above.

• Actress, Drama: Connie Britton, "Nashville"; Glenn Close, "Damages"; Claire Danes, "Homeland"; Michelle Dockery, "Downton Abbey"; Julianna Margulies, "The Good Wife."

Claire Danes will probably win this one.

• Series, Musical or Comedy: "The Big Bang Theory," "Episodes," "Girls," "Modern Family," "Smash."

I don’t get combining musical and comedy. Just include the musical in whatever category it belongs in. However, we are living in Modern Family’s world, everyone else is just visiting. Oh, but Louie should win based on the strength of the three part episode.

• Actress, Musical or Comedy: Zooey Deschanel, "New Girl"; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "Veep"; Lena Dunham, "Girls"; Tina Fey, "30 Rock"; Amy Poehler, "Parks and Recreation."

I want Poehler to win. She is incredible on Parks and Rec. I don’t know the others very well, but I don’t think they stack up. That, and Zooey Deschanel makes me feel like killin’.

• Actor, Musical or Comedy: Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"; Don Cheadle, "House of Lies"; Louis C.K. "Louie", Matt LeBlanc, "Episodes"; Jim Parsons, "The Big Bang Theory."

Louie became something more than a sitcom this year. It was the best comedy out there, hands down.  But, Jim Parsons is the reason Big Bang is still around, so he will probably win.

• Miniseries or Movie: "Game Change," "The Girl," "Hatfields & McCoys," "The Hour," "Political Animals."

This is going to be a tough one. Not really. Game Change wins.

• Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Nicole Kidman, "Hemingway & Gellhorn"; Jessica Lange, "American Horror Story: Asylum"; Sienna Miller, "The Girl"; Julianne Moore, "Game Change"; Sigourney Weaver, "Political Animals."

People in the entertainment industry LOVE Sarah Pailin impressions. They LOVE THAT SHIT! So, Julianne Moore will win this one.

• Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Kevin Costner, "Hatfields & McCoys"; Benedict Cumberbatch, "Sherlock (Masterpiece)"; Woody Harrelson, "Game Change"; Toby Jones, "The Girl"; Clive Owen, "Hemingway & Gellhorn."

Benedict Cumberbatch. There is absolutely no competition in my mind. But who knows.. probably Woody Harrelson for Game Change.

• Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Hayden Panettiere, "Nashville"; Archie Panjabi, "The Good Wife"; Sarah Paulson, "Game Change"; Maggie Smith, "Downton Abbey"; Sofia Vergara, "Modern Family."

Game Change, Downton Abbey, and Modern Family in the same category... because that makes sense. This is a complete toss up.

• Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Max Greenfield, "New Girl"; Ed Harris, "Game Change"; Danny Huston, "Magic City"; Mandy Patinkin, "Homeland"; Eric Stonestreet, "Modern Family."

Game Change, Homeland, and Modern Family... seems about right. I want Danny Huston to win, because he is a total bad ass.  But this is between Patinkin and Stonestreet. Could go either way. That’s all I have to say about that.