Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
A super-elite team of hot ladies formulate to take down all of the drugs in the US. Instead they get a high school teacher kidnapped, a teenager shot and possibly killed, ruin a man's salesman career, and watch a man get eaten by a dog all so they can take down roving tampon salesman. Seven From Heaven indeed!
Man, when you line up movies from the late 70s this is strikes all the bells. A hot van with rockets, machine guns and a dirt bike with machine guns on it in the back - check. Busty ladies with no bras kicking ass - check. Drunk Peter Lawford - check. A winded Jack Palance chasing Darby Hinton over patios - check. Explosions, explosions, explosions - check! So why isn't this in the top 10 greatest bad movies ever?
Well...a its PG...weirdly. The opening shootout is like a GI JOE episode; hot lead is flying everywhere but not one person manages to get shot or sploded. There's little left to the imagination with the chests due to very loose shirts and no bras, but there is 0 nudity. Then there's plenty of "comedy" foley work when people jump or punch guys. A little live-action cartooning that we all hate so much. Why did they choose to shoot for PG in a drive-thru movie? The PGness doesn't fit and drops it down a couple stars for sure.
Then there is 2 absolutely unnecessary and boring scenes that account for about 20 minutes (the Nazis and the beach scene). Those are eyeroll-heavy and unfortunate.
Outside of those factors, this thing is hot trash. For its problems, there is a ton more good here to make up for them. It's faults keep it out of the greatest bad movies ever, but it's strengths would have got it in the discussion at least. So this is a must-do from us.
If Looks Could Kill - Well, LA Looks CAN kill
Jackpot - Grand Death Lotto is a better movie, Rockstar!
Thunder - Why'd you take his pants off, Thunder?
Final Justice - A cheap trip to Malta is to just do murder there
Tarot - A wet torn bag of chips covered in runny dookie
Conquest - Someone just give those pooches a home!
Robowar - So it's not a ripoff of West Side Story, I guess
Twisters - Nados coming again, Oklahoma!
Junior - The dog's name was Junior
State Park - The summer version of ski movies
R.O.T.O.R. - Coldyron, you're one tough cop/doctor/engineer/rancher/captain/cowboy/philosopher!
A Family Affair - Not even white noise is this unremarkable
Alley Cat - Park Prey
Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator - Boot Betty in the Bunsen Burner
Madame Web - Failed to predict my devastating boredom
Atlas - Shrug
Robot Jox - This Jox's for you
Highlander: The Final Dimension - The Nonsense Returns
Year 9 in Review
The Rage - Good thing anti-American militias have such terrible plans
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