THE Amicable Divorce Expert with Judith Weigle
Society & Culture:Relationships
On this episode of THE Amicable Divorce Expert, you’ll learn the following:
1. Being a Victim is a Choice, not a Requirement. Why some people choose Victimhood in their marriages.
a. Learned behavior from parents’ relationship.
b. Feelings of personal insecurity.
c. Fear of losing the relationship.
2. How to know when you’re a Victim.
a. You give the power of decision-making to your spouse, even when it doesn’t make sense.
b. You fear bringing up topics to your spouse, like the finances of the family, to avoid verbal hostility.
c. You don’t insist on being part of the income tax filing, and sign them without reading them.
d. Your spouse will present a settlement agreement to you to sign before a legal professional is involved for legal advice, or to initiate the filing.
3. How to Change from Victim to Equal Partner in the Divorce Decision-Making
a. “I am an equal partner in this relationship and want equal decision-making in the divorce.”
b. Once you process and understand why you’ve accepted being a victim, your voice and attitude can change to one of Calm Control.
c. You don’t have to be mean, arrogant, or demanding. Bear in mind that it was your choice, consciously or unconsciously, to be submissive in the marital decision-making. More than likely, this submissive position as driven you to the divorce. That’s okay; you’re now exercising control over your own life. Using a calm tone, and words that aren’t offensive, is to your advantage.
d. What typically happens once a victim leaves their former role of powerless person, and assumes the role of control, is that there is an over exaggeration of attitude, which starts a fight, and blows everything out of proportion. The controlling spouse will be shocked at seeing a different attitude in their submissive spouse, and will become both defensive and offensive. That’s why it’s so very important to use a calm, soothing voice, and words that are just as calming, too. (give example) BIFF
e. A power imbalance has been created and maintained during the marriage. Once the victim wants to change the power imbalance, that will create fear in the mind of the controlling spouse. A calm tone, and a refusal to argue, will minimize the reaction of the controlling spouse. Remember, that there are also issues from the personality make-up, and from the way the controller was raised, that contribute their approach to a marriage. Don’t blame them. Sometimes they don’t realize what they’re doing. They need help, too.
f. Lastly, realize that when legal professionals are involved, and after you’ve received legal advice, the professionals will go by the laws of the state, and will be your support system, so to speak, to create the balance that never was, in working with you to craft a divorce settlement.
#victim #control #powerimbalance #financialassets #decision-making #incometax returns #divorcelaws #legaladvice #divorcesettlement #insecurity #power #communication #toneofvoice #BIFF #Bill Eddy #words
What to Do with a Lousy Prenup? w/Attorney Laurie Israel, Author
Stressed & Unfocused at Work Due to Divorce? Vicky has Solutions! w/Vicky Townsend, Divorce Right, Inc.
Child-Centered Co-Parenting w/Rosalind Sedacca, CDC, Author, The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce
Dealing w/ Divorce Grief,Transition Out of Marriage & Complex Kids w/Keena Crowley, Divorce Recovery Coach, Author
How to Leave a High Conflict Marriage w/Karen McMahon, Certified Relationship Coach
How You Show Up Matters w/Dr. Debra Dupree, The MINDSET Doc, Author Communications Trainer
Don’t Shoot the Lawyer w/Attorney Tracy Ann Moore-Grant, Founder of the Amicable Divorce Network
How to Spot a Positive Lawyer w/Jordana Confino, Assistant Dean of Professionalism and Adjunct Professor at Fordham Law School, JC Coaching & Consulting,
How to Use Emotions to Grow, Even in Divorce w/Dr. Loretta Billoups, PysD., Clinical Psychologist
Happiness is a Choice and a Necessity w/La-Verne Parris, JD, MSc, Med., Life Coach and author of Happiness Handbooks
Qualifications to Refinance the House in a Divorce Buyout w/Sr. Mortgage Loan Originator Tami Wollensak, CDLP® NMLS #1963450
Find the Money w/ TRACY COENEN, Forensic Accountant and Author of The Divorce Money Guide
International Child-Centered Divorce Month with Janet Price of JP Coaching and Consulting
Regain Sanity in an Insane Co-Parenting Gig w/Elaine Taylor-Klaus of Impact Parents.com
Tip for Divorce Success: We Don’t Go Negative w/Patty McGuire of Positivity Influencer Coaching
Benefits of Mediation During Emotional Divorce
The Emotional Divorce Precedes the Legal Divorce
2023 Preview for the Most Revolutionary Divorce Possible
Parental Alienation and Child-Centered Divorce Coaching with Janet Price, Divorce & Thriving Ahead Coach
Having a Healthy Love Relationship is a Learning Process with Dr. Thomas Jordan, Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst
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