Championship Football Game (First Down on Nicki's Face)

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“Championship Football Game (First Down on Nicki’s Face),” Episode 6

Nicki feels queasy as she and Gneeecey travel to work at his GAS Broadcast Network in his thirty-two-door white, fully articulated, really stretched limo. 

Driver Culvert double-parks on Perswayssick City’s main drag, Murgatroyd Avenue. Nicki and Gneeecey step out onto the sidewalk.

As they do, a tiny football bounces off the bridge of her nose and hurtles straight into her left eye, point first. Nicki stands there on the sidewalk, in pain and stunned. 

A crowd gathers around her, including many kids on their way to school. They start chanting, “Dee-fense! Dee-fense!” Referee whistles blow. 

Gneeecey warns Nicki that she must stand perfectly still and allow the birds scrimmaging on her face to continue play. “It’s stinkin’ chaaampionship mini-sparrow football,” shrills Gneeecey. “Ya gotta stand still till they complete play!” He adds, “If ya move, ya can get fined for interference—”  

As Nicki protests, Gneeecey warns, “County ordinance BS 396.3—which I wrote my stinkin’ self—clearly states that birds may use people as goalposts an’ playin’ surfaces, wit’in city confines as they determine fit, durin’ all post-season play—play-offs an’ championships.” He then threatens to make a “snitizen’s arrest” if she does not comply.  

The red team makes a first down, then with their white-uniformed rivals fly up into the skies, presumably to continue play on someone else’s nose. 

Gneeecey tells Nicki that she’s lucky—sometimes the fine-feathered footballers poop on you. 

The two arrive late, (Gneeecey’s fault, as usual), to Grandma’s office.

Vicki, Nicki, Frank, Gneeecey, and Grandma want to thank Marysol Cerdeira Rodriguez, Sandi Solá, Sal Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, and Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera for being generous supporting members via BuyMeACoffee.com! We appreciate their sponsorship more than words can say! 

https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (Please support us with a one-time gift or monthly sponsorship amount—various levels available—to help keep us coming to you via BuyMeACoffee.com! We’ll shout you out during our podcast episodes and in our show notes here, plus supply you with more fun perks!)  

https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)

https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki Solá)

https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (right here, our Buzzsprout website w/episodes & transcripts!) 

And much thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/

This Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy podcast is made possible in part by a generous grant from The Ardelle Institute, providing Executive Coaching for aspiring and established professionals who want to develop their careers, including upwardly-mobile ex

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Vicki's related comedy/fantasy/sci-fi books, You Can't Unscramble the Omlet and The Getaway That Got Away are available at Amazon!
https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)

It's a one-woman show! Vicki does all the writing, character voices, and audio production!