Episode 189: Many people think they are connecting with others in a conversation, but oftentimes we fill our time with stories about ourselves while crossing our arms, diverting eye contact and forgetting names. Are you craving real, deep connection? Are you waiting for someone else to do it for you? This is where you can start.
This podcast is going to teach you how to begin to create authentic connection with ANYONE. You can create connection with the cashier at Target, the barista at Pete's Coffee or the person next to you on their yoga mat.
I encourage you to stop waiting for "The One" in order to feel connected. Stop waiting for your soulmate BFF in order to feel intimacy in friendship. Creating connection with the world might be one of the most valuable skills you can ever learn.
I definitely think this is an episode you'll want to take some notes on (and please, if you do the challenges I mention, let me know how they go!)
Show Notes:
- Say their name back to them / remember their name
- The sound of their own name is the sweetest sound
- Even going to a restaurant, swap names from the start
- Learn their favored sense (How to make anyone like you in 90 seconds or less: http://amzn.to/2DN2Ot4)
- People are capable of filtering the world through one of three different senses: visual, auditory or kinesthetic
- If you struggle to know how to communicate with someone…just look at their eyes. By doing so, you’ll learn which sense they favor and will know how to speak their language.
- Ask thoughtful questions about what they are speaking about
- We think we are connecting to people when we say “me too!” and go on to share our own story, but what we’re really doing is disconnecting
- Show legitimate interest in their life / background story
- Don’t interrupt them
- Women are often interrupted / begin to show respect by allowing people to fully finish
- Acknowledge them on something that they probably aren’t often recognized for
- Rather than “you have a beautiful smile” say “you have a really warm energy"
- Rather than “you’re cute” say “you have a gift for making people feel really comfortable"
- Body language
- Don’t cross your arms
- Look in the eyes
- Face your heart towards them
- Must-Read book: How to Win Friends and Influence People
- Get a FREE book with Audible HERE
- Get a list of my top 100 favourite books HERE
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