46. Oversharing

Learn more at learn.codependentmillennial.com

Join me today as I discuss what it means to "overshare", why we overshare, how to determine when it’s harmful for you, and how to stop oversharing if you want to.

What is oversharing?

Overstepping your own boundaries(or someone else's depending on the information) in a conversation with someone else.

Why do we do it?

Because of our (codependent) need to try to gain the approval of others.

How is oversharing harmful?

Oversharing undermines and chips away at your relationship with yourself and your trust of yourself and your own intuition. This is one way in which we disempower ourselves & we can stop if we want to.

How do I know if I’m oversharing?

You can feel the difference. You know the difference between healthy venting vs. unhealthy dumping. You know the difference between healthy explanation and communication vs. unhealthy oversharing in an effort to gain external approval or permission or validation.

You know the difference between what it feels like to do something that undermines your relationship with yourself vs. what it feels like to do something that bolsters your self trust, your confidence, your self concept, etc.

How do I stop oversharing?

You need space. Just a fraction of a moment of awareness and observation--awareness of what’s going on for you in that moment that is causing you to want to overshare, try to justify your decisions, try to get approval from this other person for your decisions, etc. When you get that awareness, it doesn’t magically change your behavior but it does become easier to let go of harmful behaviors when you see so plainly and clearly that they negatively affect you. What does progress looks like for you? Maybe a huge improvement for you would look like not answering EVERY single question that someone asks you that you don’t want to answer in a conversation. Maybe progress for you looks like changing the subject at dinner, or taking a breath and checking in with yourself and how you feel before discussing something personal with someone who asks.

Please: acknowledge and celebrate your progress during this process!

 

If you’re looking for more support in healing your codependency, you can learn more about my codependency coaching program at learn.codependentmillennial.com