Episode 44 WIth Tinesha Matthews

Tinesha is a native North Carolinian, who resides in Charlotte. She, along with her brother, were raised by a loving and giving mother, who instilled a strong work ethic in her children. Tinesha finds humor in her growing up years as she and her mom had their typical mother-daughter disagreements, but despite these occasional rifts, the love and respect was always present. When I asked Tinesha to share with us her journey from darkness to light, the key component of her healing was that she was acutely aware of feeling out of sync and off-centered. This manifested in her feeling as if she was living in a dark hole that had no outlet. She also shared that when she admitted to her mother that she wanted to commit suicide, her mom’s response was “o.k. if you do that you know nothing will have changed.” This was food for thought, and as a result, Tinesha and her mother made arrangements to seek help in an in-patient facility. According to Tinesha, everything about the facility including unhealthy and uncaring staff, along with the program’s methodologies for moving past the darkness was totally without what she needed to grow. She wanted out. She ultimately connected to a program that provided group sessions, and it was not long before she found herself challenging the words and sentiments of the other group members. When a group member made statements about life events, Tinesha would readily ask questions of them that often made them totally uncomfortable. In one instance, a group member was so angry by her comments, that he did not return to the group for two weeks. However, upon his return, he admitted to Tinesha that although his initial reaction was one of hurt and anger, when he thoroughly processed her words, he accepted that she was correct in her assessment. This and other stories like it were early signs that Tinesha had a gift for therapeutic/healing work! Tinesha is a huge proponent of the importance of mental health, which encompasses self-care, self-actualization, self-love and all the healthy ways in which Black women can love on themselves. As a natural hair care specialist, Tinesha’s client base is comprised of Black women, who like in so many salon settings use the time with their hair stylist to process problems in relationships, self-esteem, career and a myriad of other areas. Tinesha is quickly becoming known in the self-care space as a mindset coach and self-love advocate. She stresses the importance of recognizing that healing is a lifestyle. According to Tinesha “it is paramount that in order to get and stay healthy, you must place a high premium on continual healing because old beliefs that serve to minimize our glory, our uniqueness and our growth will rear up in ways that if you don’t stay on top of it, will cause you to revert back to old and unhealthy thinking.” After having heard Tinesha speak at the Black Women Travel Jubilee about boundaries, I shared with her that I didn’t ever remember being taught the function of boundaries when I was growing up. As a matter of fact, I told her that I don’t think I began to really understand that I didn’t have them until my late 20s. According to Tinesha, boundaries are critical to a healthy functioning. She goes into greater detail about in this episode as to how this plays out. If you would like to reach out to Tinesha she can be found on the following social media platforms Facebook as Tinesha Matthews; on Instagram @tinesha.matthews; website: www.tineshamatthews.com Additionally, Tinesha has a wonderful Facebook Group entitled Tiny Change Agency.