How do you know you love someone?

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The questions 'Do I really love the person I am with?' or 'Do I still love my partner?' are often asked in therapy.  In the early stages of the relationship one or both partners might be unsure whether they have made the right choice. In a more established relationship where there is a lot of conflict, partners may start to question whether there is still love in the relationship.

There is no one definitive definition of what love is; love can be defined from a biological, sociological or psychological perspective. In our earlier podcast What the Greeks can teach us about relationships - seven types of love we discuss the many forms that love can take.

We are often presented with ideas about love that present us with an unattainable ideal. Love in romantic films is often portrayed as the end goal of an arduous journey; once we are at the end point we will live happily ever after.

When loving another person we make an active choice; we decide that we are deeply interested in the other person and that we continue to be open to the process of engagement with the other.  Love is not a finished product but a continual process. When loving someone we opting in; we have to want to love someone.

In this episode we discuss how your drivers and attachment style also come into play when feeling unsure about loving another person.

If you want to explore in more detail how you function in relationships, head over to our comprehensive course, The Relationship Maze. We help you understand yourself and your partner, improve your communication skills  and work on building a long lasting, loving relationship.

Here's what one of our subscribers had to say about the course: 'I found the strategies suggested enabled me to see myself differently and explain why repeated approaches to relationships always had the same outcome. A real “light bulb” moment for me. There is a great wealth of material available on this site - such great value for money. I highly recommend The Relationship Maze'

If you want more information related to a specific podcast episode check out The Relationship Maze podcast page. 

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
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Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.