100. Sexpectations: 4 Things You Need To Know with Mike Novotny

Welcome to episode #100!

In this episode, Matt and Braden talk about hidden patterns of behaviour that can lead to porn and discuss the importance of building awareness around these "default responses."

4 things we need to know (plus a bonus point)
Mike's book, "Sexpectations," outlines four key points about sex:

• Sex is good
• Sex is work
• Sex is fiery
• Sex is unnecessary

An underlying message that Mike wants us to know is that sex is forgivable. Specifically, sinful sexual activity is forgivable by God and does not have to define our future.

Sex is unnecessary
If we say that we 'need' sex, that leads down many rabbit trails of lies and false beliefs that cause us to seek out sex in ungodly ways. It can lead to sexual manipulation in marriage, self-pity in our hearts, and a wrong view of God that hinders our intimacy with Him - along with hindering our sex life.

Sex is work
To make love well, you need to love well. We need to slow down and connect with our spouses in every way. Repent to and forgive one another to build connection and put Christ in the centre of the marriage. If you haven't loved your spouse well lately, go confess that and ask how you can love them better. It will lead to more and better sex.

Sex can be fiery (and responsive)
Sex is designed to be great in marriage because it's the culmination of two people seeking to know each other in covenant. When one person doesn't want sex as much as the other though, they can learn that sometimes, sex is responsive. Even if they don't feel like it at the start, once they're into it, it becomes fun and they can start enjoying the physical intimacy they're engaged in.

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Resources
Time of Grace (Mike Novotny)
Time of Grace Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

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Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

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Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honored to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.