Trauma - how it affects you and your relationship

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Are you or your partner affected by trauma in your life? Trauma has a profound effect on our overall wellbeing and in this episode we explore some of the ways in which trauma may impact you. The term 'trauma' often gets used in colloquial language to indicate high levels of stress. While it is true that all traumatic events are stressful, we cannot say that all stressful events are to do with trauma. 

The impact of trauma can often manifest many years later. We distinguish between single event trauma, e.g. a car accident, an operation, war, loss in the family, witnessing a horrific crime, a natural disaster and developmental/complex trauma which happens over a period of time and is recurring, e.g. abuse, abandonment or neglect.

Early symptoms of trauma can include flashbacks, hypervigilance, intrusive images, nightmares, shame and lack of self worth, mood swings, high sensitivity to sounds and light, hyperactivity, abrupt mood swings or feeling stressed most of the time.

Later presentations of trauma may include panic attacks, avoidant behaviour, addiction, being attracted to dangerous situations, hyper sexual activity, self harm, struggle with memory and often a difficulty to connect with other people. In this episode we briefly talk about ways of enabling you to stay within your 'Window of Tolerance' (Daniel Siegel), i.e. the mental and physical state where you are feeling calm, relaxed and well.

Trauma is experienced in your body.  The body holds our memories of trauma. It often manifests in a number of physical symptoms like chronic pain, stomach problems, fatigue, lowered immune system, skin disorders and many other presentations.

Trauma affects the way that you relate to other people. With early developmental trauma you may not remember exactly what happened to you but you may have learned for example that the people close to you are not trustworthy or reliable. This implicit memory will then  still play out in your current relationship.  Paradoxically, we are often drawn to situations that replicate the original trauma.

If you or your partner have experienced trauma, we recommend that you find a trauma focused therapist. Effective trauma therapy works with body and mind.

If you would like to create greater connection with your partner or would like to create a strong and solid relationship, we invite you to our comprehensive online relationship course. 

The course draws on our years of experience as therapists working with individual clients and couples. 

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
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