177: UnAddicted to You: Loving Yourself Through the Darkness with Etel Leit

On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Etel Leit, who talks about her own story of living with addiction – not her own addiction, but in her relationship – and how addiction doesn't just impact the person struggling with addiction, but also everyone around that person. 

Addiction is not a one-person thing, but it's something that flows all over. It impacts the family, friends, bosses, and the people around them. Most often, too, addiction is looked at as a family disease. 

There’s this idea of trying to change the addicted person and becoming obsessed with it, that they eventually lose their identity along the way and it brings about feelings of shame and embarrassment. 

Therefore, part of the healing is not only looking into what goes into an addicted person’s mind, but also acknowledging what’s also going on in the mind of the person living next to the addict so then both parties can go through the healing journey together.  

If you’re somebody living with a person struggling with addiction, tune in to learn some tools you can use to heal yourself in the process. Etel also shares her healing journey, going through it and coming out the other side of that, and now working to help others going through the same. 

Etel’s book, “UnAddicted to You: Loving Yourself Through the Darkness” is a great read that offers some tools a person living next to an addicted person can use so they can find their spark within them once again.

In this episode, you will hear:

• How relationship problems go all the way back since we were babies
• What goes on in the mind of a person living with an addicted person
• Putting a stop to people-pleasing
• Creating boundaries as a form of self-love
• Putting down the magnifying the glass and picking up the mirror
• The 3 C’s of a person living with an addicted person
• The first step is acknowledgement

Key Quotes:

"Addiction is not a one-person thing. It's something that flows all over – the family, friends, bosses."

“The idea of going and trying to change the other person is something that is really embedded in people who are living next to the addict.”

“A person who lives either with an active addict or active alcoholic, they even don't know what their hobbies are. Their hobby is the person.”

“People-pleasing is lying– not only do I lie to the other person, but deeply, I lie to myself.”

“Mean what you say, say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.”

 

“When you see someone that isn't next to alcoholic or addict, they don't have the spark, they're in the dark.”

“Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror... stop judging others, look at yourself.”

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If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.

Supporting Resources:

www.etelleit.com (Promo code: THEADDICTMIND)

UnAddicted to You: Loving Yourself Through the Darkness

https://www.amazon.com/UnAddicted-You-Yourself-Through-Darkness/dp/0578871874 

Episode Credits

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