"IT'S NOT YOU" Kids Ministry Coffee Break 22: Our line of work can bring us face to face with some difficult people who are responding poorly AT us. It's important to maintain a healthy perspective.

Today’s break is called, “It’s not you” I did some work as a chaplain in a hospital intensive care unit as a part of my training. I walked with many people through incredibly difficult times. One family was in a small room with myself and the doctor as they were being told their loved one had a tragic setback from which they could not revive her. I had been in this particular room many times with many families. Everyone responds differently. After the doctor left, I sat next to a family member and asked if they would like me to pray. Another family member a few chairs away looked at me and screamed, “I want you to get out of this room, right now!” I had never encountered that response before. I maintained composure and slowly left the room saying, “I’ll be right out here if anyone needs anything.” I walked out and noticed I was full of tension and anxiety. I was shocked by it all. My mind flooded with questions like, “What did I do?” “What did I say?” Suddenly, my training kicked in and I realized, I didn’t say or do anything to bring that kind of reaction. That person had just met me moments prior. All that had happened was they received terrible news. They didn’t kick the doctor out of the room—or maybe they would’ve if the doctor hadn’t already left. What I came to realize is that I represented God to them. As the chaplain, that is normal. They were mad at God and they needed to kick God out of the room. Honestly, I was honored to give them that opportunity. What they needed was to be angry. I doubt they stayed in that angry state forever. I’m hopeful they made peace with God. If I hadn’t had my training, I would’ve fixated on what had happened and would’ve thought it was my fault. It’s not always our fault, friends. When someone gets upset with you or something you did or said or taught or changed… More often than not, they aren’t angry at you. Rather, you represent something that makes them angry. You give that something a face and body to which they can react and respond. Many times, outside of the chaplain setting, I’ve received angry comments and responses from people. Maybe the worship service didn’t have the exact kind of music style people wanted that day. Maybe a committee they are a part of didn’t approve their idea. Maybe they had a fight with their spouse or friend that morning and are still angry. Maybe they found out they have a disease that no one knows about yet and they haven’t worked through their anger—and I was just in the wrong place at the right time. It’s healthy for us to take a moment and discern—and most helpful when we do with with a mentor or peer. Many times, it’s not you, my friend. Remember, Jesus was killed by people who could not have possibly been angry with Jesus. He loved and welcomed and healed and blessed and redeemed those who had been cast out. Jesus represented their fear that they were in the wrong. Jesus represented the truth they already knew, deep down. When we follow Jesus as ministers, we follow him into the same line of work. Try and stay focused and remember, it’s not you. Maybe you can even serve people in that moment by letting them kick you out of the room. Whatever it is, we can serve them with love while also not letting ourselves get dragged down. May you be blessed and encouraged as you serve your people—especially when your service is in the midst of pain and anger. In those times, may you look to Christ and remember that we sometimes are called to walk his road to crosses. May your road be like his…and lead to new life for you and those whom you serve. Message brought to you be Rev. Joseph Sanford of Sanford Curriculum (Student ministry resources available on The Sunday School Store written by he and Lauren Sanford). Music by The Muse Maker https://ministry-to-children.com/winning-over-stubborn-church-members/

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