179: Cultivating Radical Intimacy with Zoe Kors

Intimacy is such a key part of healing from trauma and addiction. The more we can be intimate, the more we can heal, and the more we can walk through our suffering. Ultimately, we realize we’re not alone.

On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Zoe Kors, a sex and intimacy coach and the author of “Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve.” Zoe hosts The Radical Intimacy Podcast, which she launched in conjunction with the book to continue the conversation.

As a Zen practitioner, yoga practitioner, and lifelong meditator, Zoe learned how Eastern philosophies and practices lend themselves to alleviating loneliness and disconnection. Especially when the pandemic hit, there’s that whole new level of needing to navigate human connection as well as a new paradigm – and at the foundation of that is the connection with ourselves.

We are taught to invest resources, time, energy, and money into things like financial stability, physical fitness, and health and wellness. But we are also told not to talk about intimacy, sex, or relationships because we're told it just takes care of itself. But that’s not really true. This is the reason Zoe wrote the book having seen how people have this fear and anxiety around intimacy, but also have a real longing to feel deeply connected. Hence, most of her work is right through the Radical Intimacy Matrix, a roadmap to the intersection of the three levels and the three kinds of intimacy thereby creating these nine areas of opportunity to cultivate connection or intimacy. 

Radical intimacy is bigger than just sex. Cultivating intimacy and working on all nine areas of the matrix fortifies your life and balances you in a way that you can move through relationships skillfully and connect better.

 

In this episode, you will hear:

• Why a book about radical intimacy
• Understanding the human conditioning around sex and intimacy
• 3 levels of intimacy
• The Radical Intimacy Matrix
• Cultivating intimacy and working on all the nine areas of the matrix
• Accessing self-intimacy through central awareness
• Stepping into witness consciousness

Key Quotes:

[05:05] - "When the pandemic hit, that's just a whole new level of needing to navigate human connection and a new paradigm. Ultimately, at the foundation of that is the connection with ourselves."

[06:24] - “We can only meet each other to the extent that we can meet ourselves. We can't share a piece of ourselves if we don't know what it is that we're sharing."

[09:04] "Physical intimacy is the experience of connection and familiarity with our own physicality as well as that of another's."

[08:53] - "Emotional intimacy is the experience of recognizing, articulating, expressing, and accepting the feelings and sentiments and moods of ourselves and others."

[09:53] - "Energetic intimacy is the experience of feeling deeply connected to someone or ourselves beyond the utility of speech and touch."

[18:49] - "Every time there's a difficult situation… step into witness consciousness. What it means is that you're able to simultaneously be in the experience, but also witness yourself in the experience.”

[22:47] - “Cultivating intimacy and working all nine areas of the matrix really fortifies your life and balances you in a way that you can move through relationships skillfully."

[29:43] - “We're not taught to sort of work this part of our lives. But we're also not taught to be with ourselves.”

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If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com  to download it.

Supporting Resources:

https://www.zoekors.com/ 

Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve

https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Intimacy-Cultivate-Connected-Relationships/dp/0306826607 

The Radical Intimacy Podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/0dwm96DWeTZ8I0wGIztmbO 

Episode Credits

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