#636 Stop Performing. You Have Value Because You Breathe! (Yes, You Do.)

What do you want from me? What do you need from me? How can I make your life easier (while draining myself)? If these questions, or some version of them, come out of your mouth frequently, your value probably comes from what you do, not who you are. Throw insecure attachment into the mix and you can become over-the-top nutty in what you’ll do to receive validation that you’re okay. And that need can feel like trudging uphill backwards, especially if it seems like someone always gets more than you. Like there are only so many pieces of validation pie and you have to fight for your slice. But what if you didn’t have to perform like a circus seal, and could feel valued simply for breathing? How weird would THAT be? In this week’s episode we’ll explore why you overperform and when it started (yep, probably childhood). Where did that urge to be “extra” come from, and when did it become your default setting? Then I’ll challenge you NOT to perform and sit with those feelings. Patterns are hard to break because the feelings are so uncomfortable, but if you can sit through them and see that you don’t die, you’ll be able to do it again. And again. Because the belief you don’t have value is simply untrue. It just became a pattern that needs to be broken.