The 10 most common relationship problems and how to address them
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Today we discuss the top relationship problems that affect couples the most. We look at ways in which these problems manifest and at possible ways of addressing them. We discuss 10 items plus one bonus one.
1. Arguments: disagreements in any relationship are entirely to be expected. However, if the relationship is dominated by endless and repetitive arguments, then you may want to stop and consider what the typical contentious issues are in your relationship and to also think about the underlying causes. We are currently developing a mini course on effective arguing. Watch this space. -
2. Lack of connection: When you never find time to sit down and find out about your partner's experiences, then there is little engagement with your partner, the relationship will be suffering in the long run. Connections needs to be paid attention to and actively nurtured. -
3. Stress: Too much stress is the enemy of connection. When we are stressed we are too wrapped up in our own 'survival' and therefore cannot connect well with others. If chronically stressed then there won't be much room to empathise and understand your partner. -
4. Boredom: Many couples struggle to move on from the exciting hay days of the honeymoon period in their relationship. You start to see your partner in a more realistic light and might find it difficult to adjust to the more mundane daily routine of your life together. -
5. Children: As lovely as they are, children are frequently a stressor in relationships because of different views that partner's have of parenting and the competing demands of childcare, work and time for your partner. Couples with children often play out old relationship and family patterns from their family of origin which need to be brought into awareness. -
6. The wider family: You may struggle to get on with your partner's parents or siblings, finding them too interfering for example and/or your partner may not be keen on yours. The relationship with partners' wider family can frequently cause very serious difficulties in relationships. -
7. Trauma: When one or both partner's have experienced relational or developmental trauma in their lives, this is likely to impact the current relationship (unless the trauma has largely been worked through). -
8. Fidelity: If one or both partners have cheated and the understanding is that you are in a relationship where this is not acceptable, you will need to make a decision whether your relationship can survive this breach of trust or whether it's unforgivable. Affairs cause serious hurt and may take a long time to get over. Most affairs don't just happen spontaneously; if you decide to stay together there will need to be understanding on both sides whether there were any underlying issues that need addr
Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
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Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.
Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
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