Kid's Ministry Coffee Break | A Few Minutes of Spiritual Refreshment for Children & Youth Ministers.
Religion & Spirituality:Christianity
"PARENT-ADULT-CHILD MODEL" Kids Ministry Coffee Break 31: It's important, as a minister, to maintain a healthy balance when the expectations of us (from others and ourselves) is very high.
This one is of particular importance, for me. I’ve been in ministry since I was 15 years old. I’ve seen a lot of things in ministry… I’ve traveled to 4 continents and spent dozens of week away from home in ministry… I’ve worked with more pastors and ministers than I can even remember… My perception of ministry has changed time and again. My perception of how I live my life in ministry has changed time and again. I’ve had really difficult seasons where I found myself traveling deep and dark paths that brought a great deal of shame, pain, anger, and trial. I’ve learned the hard way, many times. A friend/mentor/teacher helped me through one particularly difficult time by teaching me a model through which to process my decision-making. The problem I had at the time was I always tried to do what I thought I SHOULD do. I had it in my head that I should ALWAYS do what I thought I SHOULD do rather than what I wanted to do. As a minister, I had taken the idea of self-sacrifice and self-denial to unhealthy places. This happens in ministry, I’ve come to see in so many. Ministers try and live into this idea of being a perfect role-model. We are supposed to pray all of the time… We are supposed to be amazing at navigating life… We are supposed to never use bad language… We are to get our work done in inspirational ways… We are to always have times for people to come and interrupt us… We are to have perfect home-lives…perfect relationships…and live into the expectations of the people we serve. The problem with this thinking is that we deny our own wants and needs. We think we should always pour ourselves out for others even when we are exhausted and empty. I’ve seen many colleagues make bad decisions when they always operate in the manner of what they SHOULD do. That was my story 17 years ago. So my mentor told me of this model. If you have a pen or pencil, draw three circles on it about 3” in diameter, one on top of the other so that it looks like a snowman with three identically sized circles. In the top one write, PARENT In the bottom one write, CHILD In the middle one write, ADULT Under the word PARENT write the words “should and ought” Under the word CHILD write the words “want and need” Under the word ADULT write the words, “make decisions” The model is simple. Any time you are making a decision about anything, consult the model. Ask yourself, “What should I do in this situation. What is the thing that ought to be done?” Then ask yourself, “What do I want to do? What do I need to do?” A healthy ADULT will allow both the PARENT and CHILD offer a 50/50 say in the decision you make. If you live out of the child circle and make 100% of your decisions based on what you want or need and never what you should do…you can see that you are going to suffer some consequences. If you don’t want to go to work for a couple of weeks straight, and you don’t go…you will lose your job. https://youthgroupministry.com/student-ministry-leadership/what-age-group-is-youth-ministry/ https://sundayschool.works/bible-verses/easy-bible-verses-for-children/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kidsministry-coffee-break/support
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