"DRAWING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES" Kids Ministry Coffee Break 32: Working in the church, maybe more than any other setting, requires a good sense of boundaries--developing and maintaining them is essential.
Today’s break is called “Drawing Healthy Boundaries”
We’ve spent some time talking about boundaries and saying no and making good and balanced decisions, but….c’mon…we know as ministers, the pressure can be very high to produce and perform nonstop.
I hope you have a very healthy setting from which you minister.
I hope the ministers around you check in on you and remind you to take breaks and to take time to refresh and reenergize.
The problem comes when the ministers you work with don’t have healthy balance and so they don’t think to make sure you do.
Boundaries are a wonderful way to keep yourself in a healthy place.
You have boundaries already in place because you are a minister.
You have a role which comes with authority and power.
Your authority and power are good things.
People depend upon you being in you role.
People depend upon you to make decisions for the things of which you are responsible.
People need you to do your job and exercise your authority.
When everyone is doing their job, everyone is able to operate in a healthy way.
The reality is, though, not everyone around you is healthy.
Some people just don’t understand what it means to have boundaries and authority.
Some people think you work for them…when you don’t.
Some people think you are available to them at any time…when you aren’t.
Some people think they can step in and make decisions about your ministry…when they can’t.
Paul often talks about a healthy household when he writes to churches of his day.
Now…the structure of households today is different than in his day…and this is a good thing.
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Imagine a ship…
Not everyone can be the captain.
If everyone were a captain, nothing else would get done and…frankly…neither would then captaining because everyone would be working against each other.
Imagine a sports team…
Not everyone can be a goalie or quarterback or pitcher or coach.
The team needs everyone to know their role and to perform it well.
Only when everyone does their job as they are called will the team perform well.
It’s the same in ministry.
YOU have been called to minister.
YOU have been called to lead your people and students.
They need you to teach them what it looks like to have a healthy team functioning.
You’ll have to tell people to stick to their roles and let you stick to yours.
You may feel uncomfortable doing this, but it’s what’s best for everyone.
And you’ll have to do this for yourself, too.
When you’re at church or at work, you are in that role.
When you are at home…you are no longer at work.
Turn your phone off,
don’t check email,
don’t take calls,
tell people who want to stop by that they’ll have to wait until you are back in the office.
Maintain your own personal household and commit yourself to the roles you are called to play in every aspect of your life.
Respect them and demand others respect them, too.
It may be rough as people get used to a healthy dynamic, but they will…and it will help the whole team in wonderful ways.
And, if this kind of work is hard for you, because maybe you don’t like any kind of confrontation…then get connected with someone who can help you define and build healthy boundaries.
Get connected to a friend who has a good sense of this stuff, who is strong.
Find a coach to help you.
Call a colleague and ask them how they develop and maintain good boundaries.
Don’t go at this alone…because you are not alone in this wonderful and life-giving work of ministry.
Message brought to you be Rev. Joseph Sanford of Sanford Curriculum (Student ministry resources available on The Sunday School Store written by he and Lauren Sanford). https://sundayschool.store/collections/free-downloads
