91. Do you abandon yourself?

Do you have a hard time trusting yourself? Do you hide parts of yourself – your feelings, beliefs, and ideas – in order to fit in or please others? Do you diminish or discount your feelings because you think they don’t matter?

Friends this is self-abandonment.

We abandon ourselves when we don’t value ourselves, when we don’t act in our own best interest, and when we don’t encourage and comfort ourselves. At the root is a lack of self love. And when we lack self love, we often use coping strategies like codependency, people pleasing, numbing, avoiding and distracting to over compensate.

Self-abandonment begins in childhood. It’s likely that your parents or other influential adults didn’t meet your emotional and/or physical needs in childhood – they abandoned you emotionally or physically — causing you to feel unworthy and unlovable.

As adults, we tend to repeat these types of patterns from childhood because they’re familiar; we repeatedly choose partners and friends who mistreat, take advantage of, or don’t support us. And we do the same to ourselves. We don’t know how to be there for ourselves because no one was truly there for us as children.

The good news is that we can heal. We can take responsibility for our growth and our lives and start building self-esteem and confidence to create whatever it is that we want.

Listen to discover:

• What self abandonment is
• Why we self abandon
• 4 ways to stop self abandoning
• The powerhouse of tools that many of us missing when it comes to personal growth
• Powerful journaling questions you can ask yourself to break the pattern of self abandonment

"Self-abandonment is a learned behavior, a way you tried to cope with unhealthy or dysfunctional family dynamics." ~Krista Resnick

"When you live in an unpredictable, chaotic, or abusive family, you learn to hide your true self. You act like a chameleon, morphing into whatever role will keep the peace and help you avoid ridicule, put-downs, physical and emotional pain." ~ Krista Resnick

"Abandoning yourself may have been a necessity during childhood, but it isn’t helpful anymore." ~Krista Resnick

"Everyone has feelings and needs. You may not have been allowed to express them as a child (or even in some of your adult relationships), but you can now be a safe haven for your own feelings and needs." ~Krista Resnick

"If you listen, your feelings will tell you what you need and when you meet your needs, you’ll be happier and healthier." ~Krista Resnick

LINKS & RESOURCES:

COMING HOME TO YOU WORKSHOP

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

EMPOWERED BOUNDARIES FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

COMPASSIONATE BOUNDARIES MEDITATION & JOURNAL PROMPTS