EP 357: Stop Romanticizing Toxic Relationships with Sara
This episode is about taking the action steps to get out of a toxic relationship. Today’s caller, Sara, grew up in a traumatic home and recently broke up from a severely toxic relationship. She has such a high tolerance for trauma and toxicity, she hesitates to take the logistical action steps needed to remove herself and her daughter from the toxic environment. It may be difficult to listen to but you will also hear her strength, heart, and resilience.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode357]
It can be hard to see how unhealthy a relationship is when we have a high tolerance for abusive behavior. When we are in situations that trigger trauma, it is tricky because oftentimes, there are action steps we need to take to change the real-world reality of things. We have to put our deeper healing aside for the moment and take immediate action.
It is hard to make rational decisions when we are emotionally triggered.
Allowing other people to tell us we are damaged or to tell us what our issues are is toxic behavior. We don’t need someone else to tell us that we are not healed or are broken. Whatever someone projects onto us is a reflection of their issues. This behavior is abusive and gaslighting. It is a massive red flag! Don't let them take your power away. No one has the authority to evaluate your wholeness or issues. If there is someone in your life who is doing that to you, RUN!
Coaches — When someone is in a breakup situation that involves legal stuff and needs protection, it is not the time to do deep somatic trauma work on their childhood. When someone doesn’t feel safe in their immediate situation their nervous system isn’t regulated, there is a fine line between guiding people towards their own answers and getting a strong feeling to give direct feedback. A coach’s job is to do a little bit of both.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Sara’s Question:
Sara is going through a brutal breakup after three years together with an unhealthy, controlling person. She would like guidance on how to move forward in her life.
Sara’s Key Insights and Ahas:
How to Get Over It and On With It:
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
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Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
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