We were walking past one of the glorious churches in New
York City and on impulse, I wanted to go in and offer a prayer for my friend's
grandmother. So, we stopped, and I did, and I can still remember the dim
lighting, the coolness of the space, and the comfort and kneeling in prayer.
Very soon after that, we learned that something had gone terribly wrong and my
friend's grandmother had died, died very suddenly and unexpectedly.
It was a total shock to everyone and there was deep grieving.
And while my rational mind knew that none of this had any connection with my
simple prayer. It was a very long time before I prayed again. Maybe you've
encountered unexpected moments in your life that seemed to challenge your faith
in new ways, challenge your sense of God's love, your worthiness, and your relationships.
If not, perhaps you've seen someone else in this struggle. I didn't consciously
think of prayer as being scary or anything, I just didn't think about it.
Years later, I was pregnant with my son and there were
questions and concerns about the pregnancy. And I found myself lying in bed in the
dark one night. Trying to stitch together, some humble prayer starting with, I
don't know God if you're there, but wanting so desperately for my child to
live. Prayer's tumbling out in the dark and silence of night can sometimes
overcome our daytime resistance. Maybe you found yourself in the midst of a
sleepless night, found yourself unexpectedly in prayer.
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