How to Choose a Secure Partner

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In today's episode we look at some of the signs or indicators that your partner or the person you are dating has a secure attachment style. Why does it matter that your partner has a secure attachment? Research shows that it only takes one secure partner in the relationship to make the relationship overall stable.

We discuss what a secure or insecure attachment looks like. A person with a secure attachment style is likely to have had previous experiences of relationships, primarily in their family of origin, where they were loved and cared for as well being encouraged to stand on their own two feet and explore the world independently.

Indicators that someone has a secure attachment include for example that they are able to be trusting of others, they can express themselves emotionally,  they are open to others and can make adjustments based on their experiences, they can assess whether a relationship 'feels' right and whether another person is trustworthy.

In a secure relationship there is closeness and connection as well as the capacity to be separate from each other and to remain two individuals. If you are with a secure partner they are more likely to tolerate and cherish your differences.

The Relationship Maze courses:
What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.

Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship.

Related podcasts:
Mentalization and attachment- how to create a secure relationship
How does your attachment style influence your mindset? - Security, insecurity and rigidity in relationships and dating
How learning about attachmen

Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
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Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.