Surprised by Love: Jen & Tyler On Where They Started and How It’s Going

It’s time to bring a close to our Dating, Sex, & Relationships series. And what better way to wrap it all than hearing a candid conversation from Jen and her person–Tyler Merritt. If you’ve listened to this series, you might have noticed that Jen has mentioned Tyler–a long time activist and author—a time or two, and that part of the reason for this series was to explore some new territory that Jen has only been exposed to over the last year or so as she tentatively put her toe in the dating waters after the end of her 26 year marriage in 2020.  As we’ve stepped through all the new ways we can meet people, or explored the choice to be single, or looked at how to start over after divorce or loss, we’ve heard the threads of Jen and Tyler’s story in all of this mix. And now, they’re here to give us some insight as to “how it’s going,” with all the joys and challenges every new relationship faces, plus some never before heard conversations about how they came together from completely different places in life including; long time married with kids vs. long time single with no kids, navigating the nuances of being a bi-racial couple and coming from completely different cultural circumstances, balancing their careers while nurturing a budding relationship and the bittersweet reality of dating long-distance. This episode is packed with some “in the moment” musings from both Jen and Tyler and also includes some hilarious takes on how a relationship that started as a new friendship turned into long daily text sessions moving to hours long phone conversations, their “define the relationship” talk, and culminating with a fun bonus segment–the For the Love team’s version of “The Newlywed Game,”--where we see how well Jen and Tyler really know each other (you’ll want to see this on video as well over on Jen’s YouTube). 

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Third Love | Take the fitting room quiz, and get 20% off your first order at thirdlove.com/forthelove. 

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Thought-Provoking Quotes

“I just remember thinking, ‘This is weird. This is special. There's something special happening here.’ [Maybe] I just met a lifelong friend and we're going to have to meet up in New York and go see shows–I don't know what's happening.’” - Jen Hatmaker

“I remember telling you I have to have conversations with the people that are close to me in my life because I'm just known as being single, and me not being single affects my single people and it's a lot.” - Tyler Merritt

“We got to know each other by talking for 40 million hours. That's what we had. That's all we had. We didn't have each other in person. And so we spent so much time talking. And I don't know, to me, that ended up being a really good foundation to build on before we ever even saw each other again in person.” - Jen Hatmaker

“What's been great about being in a relationship with somebody who has such a different set of circumstances from me; and it's not just single and married, it's black and it's white and it's only child, it's oldest of four, it is vegetarian, it is hamburgers, and it's no kids, it's five kids. We've got a lot, we have a lot of really interesting differences. And I think I can say honestly that most of them have been really good for me to navigate and to learn.” - Jen Hatmaker

“Sometimes in a long distance relationship, when it can feel like maybe we're more distant than we are, we just have to learn how to trust the process. And I think that can be difficult sometimes.” - Tyler Merritt

“[I want] to kind of encourage anybody that's in a racial relationship that it doesn't matter how progressive you are, it doesn't matter how far you are into the movement, you're going to run into things that are just different and you've just got to make your way through it.” - Tyler Merritt

“I'm always proud to be with you and I'm always glad to be with you. And I love being by your side. I'm happier when you’re by mine. And that's it. That's the leading feeling.” - Jen Hatmaker

 

Guest’s Links

Tyler’s website

Tyler’s Instagram

Tyler’s Facebook

Tyler’s Twitter

Tyler’s YouTube

Tyler’s new kid’s book

 

Connect with Jen!
Jen’s website

Jen’s Instagram

Jen’s Twitter

Jen’s Facebook

Jen’s YouTube