Standing in Two Worlds-Episode 68-What FaceTime Has Wrought

Distance Communication: Ultimate Facilitator of Knowledge or Bane of Intimacy?

R. Kivelevitz traces the social ramifications of distance communication – from the advent of letter writing to the world of modern electronics – in terms of interpersonal connectedness and the gradual eradication of privacy and personal space. Whereas face-to-face interactions are multi-sensory, letter writing provided communication that was limited to written words and content.Telephone added auditory context to words.

Juni stresses that intimacy is emotional and essentially bereft of context or informational exchange per se. He cites the halachic ritual of consoling the bereaved (Nichum Aveilim) where verbal communication is not essential and is even restricted. He harkens to the psychoanalytic perspective of relationships and interactional intimacy, citing the Freudian maxim that all relationships are not intrinsically determined by any personal characteristics of the other person or social context. Instead,they are mere efforts to re-enact the primal early relationships with one’s parents and entail a yearning to correct retroactively residual stressors from frustrating childhood relationships. The actual value of communication is therefore minimal, and any intimacy between adults is not genuine as it is merely a forced substitute for the now-bereft childhood closeness towards parents. Relationships that focus on sexuality, shared values, “love,” or enjoyment of life (for example) are thus psychodynamically superficial. As such, the only meaningful aspect of interpersonal interaction is the content of information-linked messages; emotional and relational issues are not genuinely linked to the present and thus functionally irrelevant to communication per se.

Juni contrasts the Freudian stance with that of Object Relations Theory (the branch of Psychoanalysis currently in vogue) which posits that the need for intimate relationships is hard-wired into the human psyche. This renders relationships as intrinsic to human existence – on par with food,sexuality, and avoidance of anxiety. From this perspective, the elimination of relational contexts engendered by distance communication represents a frontal attack against the very essence of relationships and rips into the fabric of social humanity.

Rabbi Kivelevitz offers a unique argument that the elimination of sensory input in communication other than words actually enhances the import of any message, insofar as all corollary nuances (e.g., seeing the communicator and physical context) distract the listener from the essence of the message. He points to the popularity of podcasts as evidence of his perspective, also noting that letter writing was often preferred to personal meetings in the middle ages – particularly in the world of Halachic responsa -- precisely for this reason. Kivelevitz expands his argument by evoking the current aesthetic perspective in the world of literature and the arts—namely that creations by authors and artisans are intended to be perceived differentially by different “consumers” and that there is no “real”or “valid” meaning to any product. Kivelevitz concretizes his perspective by pointing to the richness of traditional radio dramas of the mid-1900s, which were much richer in their import than any televised dramas – precisely because listeners constructed the visual imagery in their own minds based on their environmental context or worldviews.

Juni builds upon this approach, by forcing in the Freudian view

that such personal constructions in fact allow the listener to superimpose potent aspects of any drama on their own unresolved conflict icons of childhood frustrations they carry in their souls.

Of cultural relevance, Rabbi Kivelevitz focuses attention on halachic responsa of yesteryear debating whether prolonged intense communication by mail exchange constitutes “knowing” the other person and meets the halachic criteria of being in true contact.

Both discussants deplore the pervasive aspect of distance communication and the psychologically maladaptive FOMO Syndrome (fear of missing out) which render it virtually impossibleto disconnect from others at will. Internet holidays, widely prescribed by mental health practitioners,are rarely adopted by the population at large. Juni and Kivelevitz spend some time focusing specificallon the halachic quandary of many orthodox Jews – especially adolescents and young adults) who find themselves “compelled” to stay connected on Shabbat and religious holidays.

Prof. Juni is one of the foremost research psychologists in the world today. He has published ground-breaking original research in seventy different peer reviewed journals and is cited continuously with respect by colleagues and experts in the field who have built on his theories and observations.

He studied in Yeshivas Chaim Berlin under Rav Yitzchack Hutner, and in Yeshiva University as a Talmid of Rav Joseph Dov Soloveitchick. Dr. Juni is a board member of the Association of Orthodox Jewish Scientists and has regularly presented addresses to captivated audiences. Associated with NYU since 1979, Juni has served as Director of PhD programs, all the while heading teams engaged in cutting-edge research.Professor Juni's scholarship on aberrant behavior across the cultural, ethnic,and religious spectrum is founded on psychometric methodology and based on a psychodynamic psychopathology perspective. He is arguably the preeminent expert in Differential Diagnostics, with each of his myriad studies entailing parallel efforts in theory construction and empirical data collection from normative andclinical populations.

Professor Juni created and directed the NYU Graduate Program in Tel Aviv titled Cross-Cultural Group Dynamics in Stressful Environments. Based in Yerushalayim, he collaborates with Israeli academic and mental health specialists in the study of dissonant factors and tensions in the Arab-Israeli conflict and those within the Orthodox Jewish community, while exploring personality challenges of second-generation Holocaust survivors.

Below is a partial list of the journals to which Professor Juni has contributed over 120 article (many are available online):

Journal of Forensic Psychology; Journal of Aggression,Maltreatment, and Trauma; International Review of Victimology; The Journal ofNervous and Mental Disease; International Forum of Psychoanalysis; Journal of Personality Assessment; Journal of Abnormal Psychology; Journal of Psychoanalytic Anthropology; Psychophysiology; Psychology and Human Development; Journal of Sex Research; Journal of Psychology and Judaism; Contemporary Family Therapy; American Journal on Addictions; Journal of Criminal Psychology; Mental Health, Religion, and Culture.

As Rosh Beis Medrash,Rabbi Avraham Kivelevitz serves as Rav and Posek for the morning minyan at IDT.Hundreds of listeners around the globe look forward to his weekly Shiur inTshuvos and Poskim.

Rav Kivelevitz is aMaggid Shiur for Dirshu International in Talmud and Halacha as well as a Dayanwith the Beth Din of America.

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