The Tyranny of Freedom - Dealing with the Stress of Decision Making
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Do you struggle with decision making and often worry about making the right or wrong decision? In today's episode we talk about the challenge of being 'condemned to freedom' (Jean-Paul Sartre): because we world is not well structured, predictable and sometime groundless our existence is fundamentally not secure. We try to mitigate this lack of security through making the 'right' kind of choices. However, every 'yes' that we make in one situation is always an automatic 'no' to another choice.
Freedom can be overwhelming, on a micro level this may mean struggling to chose the right kind of pasta on a shelf with 30 different offerings or on a bigger level, choosing the right partner when dating. Unless there is a clear structure in place that tells you what to do, you will have to make your own choices.
The decision making process for many people is very difficult because they often worry about the 'what ifs': 'what if I get this wrong and lose everything' or 'what if there is another potential partner who has more to offer?' Every action requires a decision and if you are chronically worried about making the 'right' decision this can be an agonising experience. At the more extreme end it can lead to compulsions which are a more rigid attempts to avoid imagined catastrophes. Compulsiveness can be an avoidance of the responsibilities for choices.
Freedom comes with responsibility: we take responsibility for our choices. This includes taking responsibilities for our actions and choices in relationships. And it also includes the acceptance that we have power to make our own best choices and need to learn to trust our own will.
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Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship.
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Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.
Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
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