98. How Masculine-Feminine Polarity Teachings Undermine Intimacy

Implementing masculine and feminine polarity teachings prohibits the cultivation of uncompromising intimacy, because they place you in a particular role that inhibits the expression who you really are. This is an outdated view on relationships and ultimately undermines the idea that the tension between “masculine” and “feminine” ways of being creates erotic chemistry in a relationship. This usually is understood to mean that having a man embody masculine energy and a woman embody feminine energy (in a heteronormative relationship) will result in a wonderful marriage.  It’s far more important to focus on your own authenticity and self-expression, rather than taking on a particular gender role. 

In this episode, I discuss:

• How masculine and feminine roles have changed over the decades (including examples from my own relatives)
• Why I believe that masculine and feminine polarity teachings are extremely restrictive
• My client, Suzanne, who was hesitant to participate in coaching because she was so concerned about giving up who she is in order to fit into a “feminine” role (as she felt she would be losing herself in the process)
• When masculine and feminine polarity teachings ARE helpful in an intimate marriage

Resources referenced in this episode:

• Uncompromising Intimacy podcast episode
• Going Beyond the 5 Love Languages podcast episode 
• Download the first chapter of my book, Uncompromising Intimacy

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About Alexandra Stockwell, MD

My mission is to change the cultural narrative around long-term relationships from one of ongoing stagnation and compromise to the delectable joy and deep gratification a couple feels while building passion and excitement on a daily basis.

For over two decades, I have been guiding men and women to bring pleasure and purpose back into all aspects of life— from the daily grind of running a household to creating ecstatic experiences in the bedroom!

I embarked on this journey not only for my patients but for myself and my own relationship. I wanted more for my life and my marriage than logistics, and discussions about childcare.