Codependency - Putting Your Partner's Needs Above Your Own

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In episode 102 we discuss what co-dependency looks like and what the likely causes for this presentation might have been. Co-dependency is a term that describes a relationship where one partner needs the other, who in turn needs to be needed. A person who is co-dependent works extremely hard at pleasing their partner; they generally only feel worthy if they are making strong sacrifices for their partner.

Behaviour patterns and attitudes that play out in co-dependent relationships can touch on a wide range of psychological presentations and abusive relationship patterns: low self-esteem, lack of identify, insecure attachment style, trauma or domestic abuse.

A person who is co-dependent will often struggle to identify their own needs or feelings, often minimising their own emotional experiences. They tend to be outer, rather than inner directed, seeking validation and approval from others. Their self esteem tends to be very low. Co-dependents often comprise their own thoughts or values and tend to avoid any form of perceived conflict. Often they may find themselves in relationships where they stay far too long, even if the relationship proves to be harmful to them.

In terms of their attachment style co-dependents tend to be insecure. If anxious-preoccupied they either attempt to control the relationship or they tend toward avoidant-dismissive behaviour suppress emotional expression.

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Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course:  https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining  loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship.

We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.

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Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.

Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.