32: Navigating a Healthy Marriage for Parents of Kids with ADHD with Dr. Sarah Salzman

On this week’s edition of Soaring Child, we’re joined by Dr. Sarah Salzman, a leading couple psychologist and founder and CEO of the Couples Communication Institute, dedicated to helping couples achieve lasting closeness and intimacy through effective communication.

Having a child with ADHD can put a lot of pressure on any marriage, so it’s important to communicate in a way that stays safe and calm for both partners. Often ADHD kids are in a fight or flight mode, but that doesn’t mean that parents have to go there too.

So what tools are effective in healthy communication? Before you begin to communicate with your partner, make sure they’re in a space where they can’t be interrupted and are ready to listen. Think through what you want to talk about beforehand, and limit it to one thing. Then determine how you feel about it inside, what your goal is for the conversation, and the best place and time to have the conversation. Check in with your partner if that time and place is good for them too.

Think of something you appreciate about your partner that’s connected to your goal. Be sure to engage in active listening and repeat what the other person is saying to confirm you’re hearing each other and to validate what they’re saying.

The bottom line is to feel seen, heard, and understood by your partner and for them to feel the same way. Even in disagreement, you need to honor each other’s values in reaching a decision or compromise.

 

Key Takeaways:

[6:22] Asking to talk to your partner

[8:20] Five things to consider before a conversation

[13:34] Choosing the right time for a conversation

[17:58] Approaching our children for a conversation

[19:00] Asking for time from your partner

[33:19] Discussing areas of disagreement

 

 

How To Connect With Sarah:

https://CouplesCommunicationInstitute.com/Quiz/

https://CouplesCommunicationInstitute.com/

https://www.facebook.com/CouplesCommunicationInstitute

https://www.instagram.com/CouplesCommunicationInstitute/

 

 

Memorable Quotes:

“I see pretty much any conversation with your partner as an opportunity for a connection and an opportunity to strengthen the bond between the two of you.”

“We prioritize the quality of our conversations, even when our kids are tough and things are tough. It's showing each other how important each other is, how important our relationship is.”

“To carve out these 10 minutes or these 20 minutes for a quality conversation, the result is we're going to feel closer and more connected. And that is gold.”

“The speaker really wants to hear the listener validate what they heard.”

“When I can validate that where you're coming from makes sense, and when you can validate where I'm coming from is making sense, then we can become a team.”

 

Dana Kay Resources:  

Website - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/adhdthriveinstitute 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/ 

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute 

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/74302454/ 

Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/adhdthriveinstitute/

Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute  

 

International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/ 

 

Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass – https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl  

 

ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd

 

ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/