Episode 330: Agoraphobia Exposure & Fixing a Dead Bedroom

Hello, friends. In this episode, I answer questions related to building a courage ladder for agoraphobia and addressing a lack of sexual intimacy in your relationship when your partner doesn’t want to have sex.

Question 1:

Hi Dr Duff,

I’m happy to say we are not strangers now, so I will not go into my background. I purchased your anxiety course, and I’m hoping you can help me with a courage ladder for my agoraphobia. I have no problem getting my mail now (right outside my door) and I’ve even mastered riding in the car with my boyfriend. But I’m not sure what else can or should be on my ladder leading up to going into a public place. I’ve sat in the parking lot of public places while my boyfriend has run in, and I have a panic attack every time. No matter how many times I do it or how long I’m in the car for. So I’m wondering, what leads up to this and actually walking into a place. My therapist recommended going for walks on my street (there’s only my apartment building and one other house on my road) and it’s not too long of a street. This helps a lot, but I lack motivation to go for a walk especially alone. My bf is a mailman and the last thing he wants to do is take me for a walk when he gets home from work, but my next door neighbor does take me sometimes. Do you think walks will be helpful with my overall goals? And what steps or activities do you think I could use on my courage ladder? I’d also like to drive again someday, that’s also a goal of mine if this helps.

I’d appreciate any feedback. Love what you do and thank you for doing it!

Question 2:

Hello!

This is very hard to admit to anyone outside of my marriage but I love your podcast and thought I’d at least try to message you.

I have been married for about 8 years to my best friend. We are great together and love each other very much. Our marriage has had hot and dry spells in intimately in the bedroom but we have never had a steamy sexual relationship. We are both very open with each other so I tell my partner my concerns and what I want. But neither of us know what to do.

I have attempted more quality time, getting fit, compliments, more help around the house, and giving her time to herself to recharge. Nothing seems to help and I want to stop wanting sex but everything attracts me to her. Just seeing her walk across the room makes me want her. The lack of sex makes me feel more angry, frustrated, unable to concentrate, and even resentfulness.

Where do I even start? I am lost and feel like I may be harming our relationship by wanting this but I can’t stop.

Sponsor:

This episode of Hardcore Self Help is sponsored by BetterHelp and Uncommon Goods.

If you are in a mental health slump, consider reaching out to a licensed professional to help. BetterHelp has a large counselor network and you can begin chatting with someone very quickly. Check out betterhelp.com/duff to get 10% off your first month.

Uncommon Goods is here to make your holiday shopping stress-free by scouring the globe for the most remarkable and truly unique gifts for everyone on your list. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/duff.

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The post Episode 330: Agoraphobia Exposure & Fixing a Dead Bedroom appeared first on Duff The Psych.