Going Solo, Finding Yourself, and Keeping Hope Alive: Jen’s Thoughts on 2022

It’s our anticipated annual solo episode where we get to spend time with Jen reflecting on the year and the changes that have occurred in her life and our collective lives. And whew, have Things™ happened! We are still in the cyclone of massive change that launched out of 2020. Jen recently entered an empty nest phase this year and began a new relationship (an LDR relationship to boot) for the first time in years. She opens up about her relationship with Tyler in a completely new way and offers some hope for those navigating the waters of being single or testing out tough relationships. Whatever comes in the new year, Jen is committed to trying new things and believing that things do get better. It might be messy and wildly nonlinear but there is hope and there is progress and there is a future worth fighting for. I mean, Jen is still shocked she wrote a bestselling cookbook at age 47. If you had asked her in her twenties if that was her future, she would have laughed in your face. Whether you want to overhaul your own life or dip your toe into a new venture, Jen’s with you and cheering you on. We end this episode with Jen sharing what’s on her mind for the new year and what’s to come on the podcast and beyond. We hope you go into your new year feeling like you have a community that gets you, supports you, and that you have permission to try new things. Happy new year, pod community!

* * *

Thank you to our sponsors!

BetterHelp | Visit BetterHelp.com/forthelove and get 10% off your first month

Jen Hatmaker Book Club | Join the Jen Hatmaker Book Club before January 5th and get a Me Course for free! Visit jenhatmakerbookclub.com. 

Me Course - New Year | Head to mecourse.org to register and start your new year feeling inspired!    

 

Thought-Provoking Quotes

“Some years just come and go without a lot of seismic changes, or big life moments. Some years are huge. This has been a huge year for me, as was last year, and the year before.” - Jen Hatmaker

"That's the nice thing about [starting a relationship] when you're older--you're mature, you've lived a lot of life and you're hopefully more generous, more wise and more grounded." - Jen Hatmaker

“I've grown a lot, a lot, a lot through understanding things through Tyler's lens, and staying curious toward him, and fighting all my instincts, which are trauma related, to be scared, and reactive, and triggered.”  - Jen Hatmaker

“It is 100% okay, more than okay, to choose not to get married or even to partner up. That choice is viable. That is a real choice. It has merit for a trillion reasons.” - Jen Hatmaker

“The faith of my childhood did not teach me that God had any interest in our pleasure…in fact the opposite was more true. The harder something was probably the godlier it was. Or the more I denied myself something that felt beautiful or wonderful, that probably meant I was being obedient…God made this world to just be so enjoyed and to heal us and to nurture us. And that feels so crystal clear, true to me now that I'm shocked that it wasn't always.”  - Jen Hatmaker

“Having a chance to be alone, whether you chose it or didn't, it doesn't matter, is a chance to look really deeply inside. Who am I? What do I want? What makes me happy? What makes me tick? Where are my own personal pain points? Let's not imagine we got this far in our life perfectly and everybody around us was just problematic.” - Jen Hatmaker

"If you find yourself solo right now, take this time. Go deeply inside. Know who you are, be your own best friend, emerge as your best self--whether or not that best self ever partners up or marries, it doesn't matter because that's how you want to be in the world.” -  Jen Hatmaker

"I've been parenting since I was 23. I've done all that heavy lifting and I loved it. I wouldn't change one day of it--but it also feels great to be mostly done. Look at my young adult kids--I think they're fantastic. I'm getting to watch them start to fly."  - Jen Hatmaker

“Whatever the thing is that you're kicking around in your head, maybe, you can see it from where you're standing even though it's different. It's like an offshoot. Or it could be a complete yard sale. You do an overhaul. You start something so wildly new, so unprecedented in your life, either way, why not you? It's not too late.”  - Jen Hatmaker

“There is no template for suffering and healing. There's no timeline. It is not linear. My experience has been that it's two steps forward and 5 steps back all the time. It wasn't like I was sad, then I got progressively happier--that's not how grief works.” - Jen Hatmaker

“Life is going to go on. I don't exactly know how. I don't exactly know what it's going to look like. I don't have any of that figured out, but I know that I'm going to be okay. I know that my heart is going to be okay. It's going to be mended. I know that whatever happens, I will be enough for me, forever.”  - Jen Hatmaker

“I was just reminded that hope is not foolish. It's not foolish, it is brave. It's audacious maybe, but it's not foolish. This is our moment in time. This is our little spot on the historical timeline to fight for what matters in the same way that every generation has done before us.” - Jen Hatmaker

“We have choice. We have agency. What are we going to do with it?” - Jen Hatmaker

 

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Me Course

 

Connect with Jen!
Jen’s website

Jen’s Instagram

Jen’s Twitter

Jen’s Facebook

Jen’s YouTube