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This is: Attempted Telekinesis, published by on the LessWrong.
Related to: Compartmentalization in epistemic and instrumental rationality; That other kind of status.
Summary: I’d like to share some techniques that made a large difference for me, and for several other folks I shared them with. They are techniques for reducing stress, social shame, and certain other kinds of “wasted effort”. These techniques are less developed and rigorous than the techniques that CFAR teaches in our workshops -- for example, they currently only work for perhaps 1/3rd of the dozen or so people I’ve shared them with -- but they’ve made a large enough impact for that 1/3rd that I wanted to share them with the larger group. I’ll share them through a sequence of stories and metaphors, because, for now, that is what I have.
For me, these techniques came out of a stressful time period.
In October 2012, CFAR was very new, and I was very new to being its executive director.
I was faced with a task that I basically didn't know how to do -- filling the first workshop for which we charged "real" money (the $3900/person that actually let CFAR run), and helping our team create our first decently polished workshop at the same time (which needed curriculum, operations, etc.). But whenever I sat down to try to work, my head would fill up with all the other tasks I “needed” to get done, instead of the particular task I was trying to work on. Or my head would fill with stress and mental static. So, almost because of how badly I needed to work, I found myself unable to accomplish much of anything.
The set of stories and metaphors below is somehow what eventually gave me the ability to work with full focus in those conditions (I found them partway through that October), and cured most of my decades-long social shame at the same time.[1] (Though, again, this stuff isn't rigorous yet. It worked for a few folk, but failed a few others; your mileage may vary. Do share your thoughts.)
Attempted telekinesis
One morning, that month, I was lying in bed, half-asleep. And I wanted my laptop. But my laptop was a few feet away, so reaching it sounded hard (because I was half-asleep).
After lying there a while wishing, I finally noticed what my brain was up to. And I noticed that what my brain was doing was visualizing my laptop whooshing toward me. Again and again. (Fix attention on laptop. visualize the woosh. Nope, laptop isn’t here yet: repeat!)[2]
I’m going to call this process “Attempted telekinesis”.
It seems to me that something like “attempted telekinesis” underlies a large set of stress / shame / worry / etc., and that learning to vanish it has been super-useful for me and several others. I’ll start with several examples of what I’ll be calling “attempted telekinesis”, and then go into some techniques for vanishing it.
The case of the munching noises
Later that day, I was sitting at the office trying to work, and someone next to me was eating. Noisily.
Now, I’m part of the sizable minority of the population that is driven absolutely bonkers by munching noises. Munching noises fill me with rage and make me want to punch someone. But, like, I get that that’s petty of me.
So my internal thinking stream goes something like this:
Coworker: [Munch. Munch.]
My system 1/ intuitive brain (silently, in my head): Argh! Stop it!
Me: [Type, type.] (While thinking: “I don’t want to be petty; best not say anything, nor show annoyance on my face in any way.”)
[1 minute later]
Coworker: [Munch. Munch.]
My system 1/ intuitive brain (silently, in my head): Didn’t you hear me?? Stop it!!
Me: [Type, type.] (. I don’t want to be petty; best not say anything, or show it on my face in any way.)
[and another minute later]
Coworker: [Munch. Munch.]
My system 1/ intuitive brain (silently, in my head): Argh!! Didn’t you hear me?? Stop ...
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