143. Sex After Betrayal: How To Rebuild Your Intimacy!

This episode is brought to you by Relay, the app that helps you find healing and make progress alongside peers who get it. If
you are in a group and need a resource to help you support each other every day, check out Relay! Go to www.joinrelay.app and use our promo code PV2023 to try it out for free.

Welcome to episode #143! This week, Matt and Braden discuss what intimacy after betrayal can look like if we rebuild with God's help!

Intimacy is more than just sex
When we just focus on moving towards having sex again, we may miss out on the actual healing needed as a couple to recover from betrayal (whether it is porn use or infidelity). Rebuilding true intimacy is part of the process that is needed, and when we learn that intimacy is so much more than just sex, we can start to understand a better path forward. Intimacy includes the emotional, and spiritual, all the way to our recreational companionship. In other words, there are many layers to intimacy and we can start to ease our way into growing our intimacy with one another before we have sex.

Move slowly and prayerfully
Rebuilding trust and safety takes time, but it also takes intention and active choices. If we push forward too fast, the spouse that is the victim of betrayal in the relationship may feel taken advantage of, or even traumatized again. That is why rebuilding slowly and with prayer is key! Part of that is making small movements towards one another, and understanding that healing is a process and can't be fast-tracked.

Keep the lines of communication open
Sharing with one another about what you are feeling will help rebuild safety and trust. It will also create an openness to communicate that is vital in growing true intimacy and rebuilding lost trust. We may need to have third party help with this, to give us some ground rules to effective communication and being able to share without expressing ourselves in a toxic way. But as we grow in our ability to share, as a couple we can understand the path forward instead of playing a never ending guessing game. The goal is our marriage is not just to have great sex, but to keep our hearts open to one another in true and lasting intimacy. Communication is an important component of building that intimacy, that leads to great sex, even after betrayal!

Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes!

Resources
Relay app
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 13 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.