Married to a Workaholic

A listener's relationship issue is highlighted in "Married to a Workaholic" as Figs and Karen take a nuanced look at a system they've seen hundreds of times in couples.

In this case, the listener's husband is prone to answering work texts while they are spending quality time together, resulting in painful disconnection and conflict.

Figs and Karen carefully break down each perspective within this system—the listener Pursuer ("Are you there for me?") and the "texter" Withdrawer ("Am I enough for you?)—using systems theory and attachment theory.

Throughout the episode they do deeper and deeper into the experience of the listener and the "texter," accessing their negative judgments of each other, the ways they protest not feeling loved, and their unmet love needs.

Couples Therapy Works is a new series from the Come Here To Me team delving into the complex work of couples therapy from the ground up. Each episode will feature one or more of Empathi’s own counselors as they examine the truths and challenges of relationship repair.

To submit a question for Figs and Karen to answer, email figs@empathi.com or leave a comment on YouTube, Instagram, or Apple Podcasts.

If you or someone you love are struggling in your relationship, visit empathi.com for the relationship quiz, courses, and therapy consultations.