“There’s still a slight hitch,” observed Barb Silver, as she watched her husband demonstrate his new gait resulting from recent hip replacement surgery. “But probably no one but me would notice.”
“At my age, I don’t get a lot of notice,” said Bernie Silver, “and that’s okay. But my problem is that a limp, or a ‘hitch,’ as you charitably put it, brings negative notice. Nothing says ‘old’ like a little hobbling. Are you sure there’s a hitch?”
“You want me to be honest, right?” she asked.
“I don’t recall requesting that,” he responded. “With my 70th coming up, somewhat less honesty might be in order.”
“They say ‘70 is the new 50,’” she said.
“When you need hip surgery,” he rejoined, 70 is the new 95.”
“C’mon,” she said, “it’s hip, so to speak, for a guy to be 70: distinguished good looks, plus the wisdom of the ages, an unbeatable combo.
“Why don’t you look at it this way? Your hip and thigh bone are now freshly minted titanium, making them the youngest parts of your body by far. In fact, if you averaged the age of all your body parts, your new hip brings the average down to where I’m now quite a bit older than you.”
“Here’s to older women,” he toasted, holding up the Pisco Sour he’d been sipping before his cocktail hour walking demonstration. “And I guarantee you that Silver Investigations”—the detective agency they’d formed together after working for years as investigators at the Alpha Insurance Company—"will never be guilty of age discrimination.”
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