255: Sexual Abuse Survivors and Perinatal Mental Health with Deborah Flam

Today’s show is about the effects of sexual abuse on pregnant, birthing, and postpartum people. This topic may be difficult for some, even though we are not discussing specific details of sexual abuse events; please determine for yourself whether you are ready to listen to this episode or not. You can find all of our episodes available for you whenever you are ready at www.momandmind.com. If you are ready, join us to learn more in today’s episode!

Deborah Flam is a reproductive therapist in New Jersey. She is also a volunteer support group facilitator and a NJ Support Coordinator for Postpartum Support International. She is on the board of PSI-NJ as the Community Outreach and Engagement Board Member. Her training is in perinatal mental health, infertility, birth trauma, perinatal/infant loss, and compassionate/bereavement care. Deborah also has specialized training on the impact of sexual abuse on childbearing individuals. She has volunteered for the Ocean County Sexual Response Team as a Confidential Sexual Assault Advocate and provided training for nursing and social work students on issues related to sexual abuse. In sharing her personal story, Deborah explains how her trauma history impacted her pregnancy and postpartum experience. She also shares how clinicians can help prepare sexual abuse survivors for their baby’s birth and how medical professionals can provide trauma-informed care. 

Show Highlights:

• Deborah’s story of anxiety that began with her positive pregnancy test and escalated to depression–even though she was already seeing a therapist
• How she was in complete denial about her pregnancy, feeling like the baby was a parasite in her body
• How her labor began at 35 weeks in an unexpected way–and she didn’t feel anything and was eventually sent home
• How her 37-week appointment found her in labor again—and her son was born a few hours later
• How Deborah’s postpartum anxiety, depression, OCD, avoidance, and intrusive thoughts plagued her after giving birth
• How she learned that the pregnancy and postpartum experience can feel terrible
• What the statistics say about the likelihood of women experiencing physical and/or sexual violence in their lifetime
• Why many sexual abuse survivors feel shame, fear, and fragility related to pregnancy and their medical care
• How the gender of the baby can trigger fears and strong emotions among survivors, along with the common medical practices related to pregnancy and birth
• How some survivors are triggered by fear and shame around bodily functions and bodily fluids during labor and delivery
• How even the sights, sounds, and smells of the hospital can be triggering for survivors
• Why nursing personnel should be attentive to the passive patient who seems calm and perfect, the patient who is completely dissociated from the experience, and the “difficult” patient
• Deborah’s tips for how medical providers and therapists can show up better for sexual abuse survivors in very simple “workarounds”
• How Deborah’s PMADs experience has led to beautiful healing

Resources

Connect with Deborah

Website

Resources mentioned in this episode and recommended by Deborah:

RAINN

Black Mamas Matter Alliance

Time’s Up

FORGE

Anti-Violence Project

The Network La Red

Survivor Moms' Companion

When Survivors Give Birth book by Penny Simkin

It's OK That You're Not OK book by Megan Devine

Visit www.postpartum.net for resources! I’d love to hear from you!

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

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