How To Set Boundaries In Your Relationships And Life
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Do you sometimes feel that your partner oversteps boundaries in your relationship or that you struggle to set boundaries yourself? Do you have a healthy sense of boundaries or are your boundaries either too rigid or too porous?
Boundaries are the invisible lines that demarcate your personal (physical) space, your limits, your values and rules that guide your life. We know when someone displays behaviour that is not acceptable to us; we might notice a sense of discomfort for example. If we never experience any sense of boundary violation, this may be a sign that you had to shut down your sense of self very early on in life. Boundaries tells us when demands are being made that might transgress your sense of what feels right. Often we are not that clear where our boundaries are; they will need to be brought into awareness and clearly defined. This is particularly true in relationships as both you and your partner are likely to have different boundaries.
Boundaries can be too rigid or too porous. We discuss what rigid and porous boundaries look like, why someone might have these types of boundaries and what healthy boundaries you should set yourself. Rigid boundaries are often a defense and may go hand in hand with an avoidance of emotional intimacy. Porous boundaries are usually driven by the desire to please and by an underlying fear of loss.
Healthy boundaries are important - they bring a sense of comfort and safety. Partners often assume that they know each other's boundaries. The truth is that these boundaries will often have to be explicitly stated and at times negotiated. Your partner cannot read your mind and will need to know where your line is. Conversely, you will need to know where your partner's boundaries lie.
The Relationship Maze courses:
What is your argument style? Find out in our short quiz. You can find a link on our website: https://therelationshipmaze.com.
Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course: https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.
Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
Contact us for information about individual counselling/psychotherapy, couples therapy, clinical supervision or CPD training.
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Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course.
Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.
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