#72 Mathew Hussey - Modern Love, Dating, Marriage
Chatting with Candice
Matthew Hussey
Episode Run Time: 1:29:28
Matthew Hussey is a British life coach, YouTube personality, and writer. He is most popularly known for being the leading dating advice expert for women around the world. In this episode, we ask the difficult questions; why can’t we seem to find the one? What does a healthy relationship look like? Is it OK to get jealous? Matthew is here to help me understand love, dating, and marriage in a modern world.
00:00:00 00:00:18 Giving Relationship Advice
00:04:14 Where Women’s Advice Gets Messed Up
00:12:32 Why Do We Pick the Wrong Person?
00:20:56 Healthy VS Toxic Relationships
00:27:14 Anxiety and Excitement
00:33:00 Finding Your Person
00:41:21 Do Men Change for One Woman?
00:48:44 Being Intimate With Yourself and Others
00:53:14 Losing Spark in the Relationship
01:02:45 Doing Things Differently with Your Partner
01:08:01 Battling Jealousy
01:16:27 Healthy Control
01:24:07 Showing Up For Your Partner
01:27:59 Where to Find Matthew
Why Do We Pick the Wrong Person?
People tend to pick the wrong partners, be in the wrong relationships, and even find themselves in the old adage that we choose people that remind us of our parents to heal our own personal wounds. People want to change other people and believing that someone who has shown you a consistent pattern for a long time is one day going to suddenly change is deeply misguided and extremely dangerous. You can run out of time and is a bad bet to make. People who ignore what everyone around them is saying is still the biggest mystery of all—there could be a huge element of the past, as well as the role of confidence and familiarity. On the other hand, if someone knows that they are worthy of respect, decency, and kindness, they are more likely to instantly know if they’ll get these positive qualities from any person that comes into their life.
Can Men Change?
To answer the Steve Harvey quote, men apparently change but only for one woman. If you don’t see that progress, it’s not gonna happen and is dangerous for women who want to have children are stuck with men who can’t decide if they do want them. Regardless of gender, we as people need to tap into what is important for us and what our visions for our life are. Our lives get better in direct proportion to the difficult conversations we’re willing to have and knowing what we want and what is important to us is going to improve our lives drastically.
What Happens When the Spark is Gone?
How do you continue to want that which you already have? On a basic level, it’s also worth asking the question: what’s our ratio of loving acts and desiring acts? Bringing desire back doesn’t necessarily mean going back to the bedroom and seeking new landscapes, it could also be a matter of seeing the relationship through new eyes or a different perspective.
Links and Resources:
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Thank you to Ragnar’s Rocks and Prolon for sponsoring this video. Visit Prolon and use my code CANDICE upon checkout.
Meta-Description
Life coach and professional dating expert Matthew Hussey answers our questions on all things love; finding the right one, having healthy relationships, and the real meaning of “spark”.
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